Absolutely,and welcome.We have all felt this way(keep it on me)I had no clue why or what I was doing but I only knew the pain had to stop,Later I learned about who and what I was and how to "get into the solution of my dilemma.Glad you joined us!! Kepp comin back...

Glad your here. Getting clean creates a ton of anxiety and fear in itself. I was afraid of a number of things because I was giving up the only way I new how to live each day, by using. Meeting new people is a scary, my self esteem and self confidence was gone so it was intimidating to talk to someone who was a stranger. Funny we don't trust someone who is clean but we trust a number of addicts who do some very bad things out there when we were using. Believe me if you ask for help at a meeting, you will see how the new person is most important. You should find all the help you need after the meeting. If you are female, hit a woman's group meeting in schedule.

Part of my fear to was going to meetings not having a clue on what I was hearing, weather it was about the steps, or someone talking NA lingo about books, acronyms for all the area, regional and world stuff. It all seemed very complicated and I felt kinda lost. Another part was being judged on my use, looks, or what I did. I found after continuing to go to meetings (and I wanted to stop a few times because I was scared) that I got to know a few people and started to fit in. The more I went the more I realized I was the same as the other members. I was always the same, it was just me thinking I was different, not them thinking I stood out. I gravitated to those smiling and happy at meetings and out of meetings and stayed away to the gossipers and people complaining all the time. I could do that on my own, I don't need a meeting to do that..lol..Remember the steps are the program and meetings are only part of the answer. I primarily went to only lit and step study meetings in the beginning. That's where I found the answer and worked for me. It works. Not sure where you are or your circumstances feel free to ask questions

We all have been there with the fear of that first meeting. I am not sure where you got the meeting info and location, but at times our meeting lists change. Meetings move, cancel and change times. try this link for a schedule, and if you need a ride call the hotline # on the schedule or link and tell them you need someone to help with transportation. http://www.naindiana.org/meetings.php  click the blue central NA logo

For me I truly wanted to stop and was willing to do anything to do so, I was desperate to quit. Almost quitting is like almost putting on a parachute before jumping on a plane. Know what your going through, I hated the daily routine and using to. In turn started to hate myself because I couldn't stop. So the more depressed I got the more drugs I did. The more drugs the more depressed..vicious cycle. I tried to stop dozens of times, would say I am never doing that again, and I would do it again. powerlessness..I didn't like what I had become and the way and means of using and getting more. I obsessed about it all day everyday. (unmanageable life, drugs were in control) I can't stop on my own power...am I going to have enough, trying to find some, counting etc...wasting day after day.........I would wake up in the morning and say ok this has got to last for the day, and next thing I new I was out by noon, and the ways and means cycle started again..like I said in an earlier post, getting clean can be a bear, but we all had to go through the misery in the beginning. get clean and go to a meeting tomorrow, don't give up after just one meeting, all meetings are different you will find a home. a good way to see which room a meeting is in when you go is get there about 10min early and you should see ppl standing outside some where. good luck, let me know how it goes. sorry I get long winded