Hi Everyone, this month I made 14 months clean. I got back with my ex-husband (getting high partner) believing he had changed only to get slap in the face. He continues to relapse on a regular. He goes in and out of Day Top so he will not violate his parole. I left him a couple of days ago and finally told him that I couldn't do it anymore, but I am finding myself feeling guilty and the bad guy because he had asked me when he was in Day Top Manor how about if he relapses again what would I do and I said I would deal with it. Not realizing he was already telling me indirect he still had reservations and by me saying what I said it was giving him the green light. I have a problem of not speaking up on how I feel not to hurt the next person feelings. I know this is dead wrong and at the same time it's lying.
Hello and welcome. You are not alone in this story. I have heard it many times. Because we are addicts ourselves we don't see that we can also be enablers for other addicts. We don't see the co-dependancy issues that are as destructive as any drug. Fortunately, just as there is a 12 step program dedicated to helping addicts stay clean, there is a 12 step program for family members of addicts. I see you come from the Bronx. There are no doubt many good Nar-anon groups available to you. Al-anon, also works, they are not so fussy about drugs as AA can be. Staying clean has to be your number one priority. Nothing good can come if you relapse. Keeping your environment safe and drug free is essential to that goal. Nar-anon can help. Peace.
Welcome to MIP! Congrats on 14 months...I am an addict and also a father of a Heroin addict(son 25)I just celebrated my 4 year celebration at Nar-Anon Thursday night.Though I have been clean of my own addiction for over 26 years,my recovery was shaken to its core by my sons addiction(started at 17)I knew all the things of enabling as an addict myself,but when it came to my son I really struggled.It starts with our same 1st step(we are powerless and our lives are unmanageable over our addiction and our addict) I can only suggest taking a look into this program as it can be as valuable to you as our program Narcotics Anonymous is to us,,I'll keep you in prayer as I can truly identify and like our literature tells us(10th Tradition) we are free to share anything that affects our recovery as long as we are sharing from our own personal experience,state it is not the opinion of Narcotics Anonymous but for oourselves(forcing separation of group), it is not devisive in its content,we are working toward a solution and not mirred in the problem,we keep our common purpose in focus and remain clear on our common welfare.We are free to pursue whatever else can lend a hand to our recoveries as long as we are mindful of our own traditions and principles..I wish you peace ,keep coming back okay!! PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION keeps us moving forward guided by our Higher Power and applying the 'solution: in our actions of lives,our steps,traditions and even concepts.Hope to hear back from ya!! peace
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
Welcome and congratulations on 14 months clean. Like was said earlier, the only person you can get clean is your self. You can carry the message but you can't carry the addict.
Thank you all for the support. You don't understand how good it made me feel inside to know that there is people that understands what I am going through. I Thank God for this web site and for people who truly care. God knows I haven't been to a meeting in such a long time. You all are a blessing. God Bless
Hi Mike, thank you for the support. I can relate my son before he left to the Army was using heavly steroids and cocaine. I tried everything with him. Nothing it will go through one ear out the other. Again I forget no one can help you not unless you want the help. It killed me inside to know my son is using and I couldn't protect him. All I could say was Now I know what I put my mom through when she was here with us. And pray to God. I have my brother in Phoenix house before he went to Phoenix house I would run on my lunch break to Union Square Park to look for him and make sure he ate and slept. He gets locked up and sadly to say it was music to my ears because now i know he not sleeping on the streets. He got mandated to Phoenix all for the wrong reasons which I knew in my heart he wasn't ready, well he confirmed it to me a couple of months. He told me I am not going to stop using. Stab to my heart. As you already know about my ex-husband. It's hard to not worry or help the person you love so much. Thank you for lettting me share again.
