Hi really going through tough times right now cant seem to find a glimmor of light. i am in constant conflict with my spirituality and in struggles with fatherhood, manhood, and being a good and responsible husband. all seems lost, back at home with mom and jobless. HELP!!!!
Whatever is going on it's got to be better than using drugs all the time. Remember that. Keep working the program, don't use no matter what, and things will get better.
A constant reminder for me is to always remember to not forsake in the dark what God has shown me in the light! Continue to reach out,we will go thru pain and it is our commitment to continue to 'turn our will and lives over to the care of God,even when it seems as if nothing is working. Just Dont Use and this too shall pass.In the midst of all this,try and put together a gratitude list for yourself, starting with the miracle of another day free and clean of active drug addiction.Sometimes this is exactly what we dont want to hear or do,,but if we go deep inside ,surrender again on a new day,work toward that 'fit spiritual condition,more will be revealed.Welcome to MIP,continue to share from your heart ,we are here for each other!!!
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
I hear your pain Warren. If drugs have brought you down then going to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting and asking for help is a good start. Never forget to count your blessings. Your down but not out. peace
Only a few short months ago, I felt your hopelessness. I have been going to meetings, 90 in 90 plus some, which has helped with the hopeless feeling. I have continued to struggle otherwise, with two relaspes in 4 months. I have had a person I said was my sponsor, even talked to her regularly and met with her a couple of times, but we never actually worked any steps. After my last relapse just last week, and just a few days shy of 90 days clean, I lie in bed awake at o'dark thirty with my mind going a million miles a minute. How the *&%$ did this happen, again? Well, I am an addict, and I am powerless over my addiction. First part of step one. I have shared jokingly in meetings that I was looking for folks to wave their magic wand over me, free me of my addiction. It came to me at o'dark thirty that night that the magic wand I'm looking for can be found in the 12 steps and I need to actually work them with another person and learn to live by them if I am to be free from active addiction. At this point in my life, I have nothing to lose, and everything to gain. Peace (work is becoming a four letter word in my vocabulary....just kidding....
NA promises one thing: you never have to use again if you don't want to. And that ain't no small thing!
Recovery and Life is like a bed of roses, and roses have lots of thorns! Hang in there, the wreakage of our past takes time to correct. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and One Day at A Time life can get better. Not in our time, in HP's time commensurate with our footwork. Keep your Recovery first and the rest will follow.
As addicts we want it, we want everything, now! God give me patience, and give it to me NOW! Doesn't work that way just because we stop Using. Years of making bad decisions takes time learning and re-learning How to live. We come to NA as emotional children stunted in our growth by years of active addiction. We didn't become addicted in one day so remember, Easy Does It (but do it).
Keep coming back!
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Work the Steps or Die MF. (My Friend :) Clean One Day At a Time by The Grace of God through The Power of NA
