Just woke up a bit ago from the first dope dream (that I remembered, may have been others) in over a decade. Last night we watched a couple dvr'd episodes of Justified. If not familiar it's focused on a US Marshall based in coal country of Kentucky. One of the plot lines involves the Bennets who control the Herb trade in the County. This episode part of the time was spent in their barn with current crop hanging dried all over the place, close-ups of gorgeous leafs and buds, and of course some sampling of the product.
Well, my dream involved a couple who are wholesale clients of my coffee Roastery. They have a small cafe with weird hoiurs, never know when they'll be open during the day during the week, mostly open weekend evenings with live music event. I know how much coffee they go through and no way in hades they're making a living off coffeehouse operations. I've always suspected they had "other sources of revenue".
Anyway, in my dream they were sampling different buds and left with a "wholesale aka small dealer " volume purchase. I wasn't toking with them, just discussing and guiding them through my different "offerings". (Just as I might with a wholesale Roastery client.) As they were leaving I handed them a single stick of primo red veined sensimillia and said this buds ones for you. Again just as I often do giving a small sample of a special coffee offering.
Then in my dream I thought to myself I wonder if this blows 30 years Clean even though I didn't get loaded! Then woke up realizing only a vivid dream, I can keep my XXX coin.
I'll be honest, few weeks ago a thread about dope dreams had me feeling kind of left out since it had been years and years since I'd had one. Yeah I'm still sick, 'cuz bizarrely for me this was fun.
Edit: Oh, also in the dream I posted here on MIP forum about dealing but not getting loaded and debating changing my Clean date because of dealing!
-- Edited by Mike M on Saturday 16th of April 2011 11:44:01 AM
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Work the Steps or Die MF. (My Friend :) Clean One Day At a Time by The Grace of God through The Power of NA
Ahhh Mike, the blessings of reality(often I left it)! Tell me that didnt feel good when you came back into this world upon awakening!~~~I can Identify as I was also a low level dealer,the kilo's /pounds /ounces/dimes etc......I was beat so many times wasn't funny! no dreams lately though,,heads clogged with bunch other things.....Love when God opens my eyes in the a.m and I am still working on not using "any" mind altering mood changing things(that includes drugs) :) peace
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
We must have had the same dream! I had a very similar dream about dealing dope. I, too, am glad it was only a dream. Like you said, it shows I'm still an addict.
HI Mike, Is it a coincidence that you had a drug dealing dream around the same time as your "dealing H" joke? Me thinks not. It may be why some in the rooms discourage any and all drug references. Just sayin.
HI Mike, Is it a coincidence that you had a drug dealing dream around the same time as your "dealing H" joke? Me thinks not. It may be why some in the rooms discourage any and all drug references. Just sayin.
Ah the wisdom of youth. Walk a mile in my shoes to better understand my heart, mind and soul. When I had a couple years Clean I knew much more about how the program worked and how others should work it than I do with thirty years Clean. The more I know the more I know I don't know. I indeed suffer from a disease which is mental, physical and spiritual in nature. Yet experience has taught me that oft there is a time and place for many things, including references to specifics of my addictive addiction. To deny my past gives it power, to laugh at it can put it in it's place. Far too long I took myself too seriously.
Indeed Recovery is a serious matter, a life and death matter. Which is not to say life in Recovery must be all seriousness forsaking Joy and yes even levity.
As far as talking about drug specifics in meetings goes for me I have learned there's a difference between war stories and occasional specific references to using experiences which can often help the newest member relate and for the first time feel a part of. Absolutely Recovery isn't about just not using drugs, yet it is paramount to first not use for the Journey of Recovery to be possible. Understanding comes layer upon layer, precept upon precept. To know I must first not know. And in knowing know I know not. Each personal enlightenment found exploring the many divergent footsteps of those who have gone before.
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Work the Steps or Die MF. (My Friend :) Clean One Day At a Time by The Grace of God through The Power of NA
