Man, it's one of those days... I'm getting a case of the "hates." (I hate my job, I hate my coworkers, I hate my boss, I hate the fact that I'm a f***ing receptionist when I have a degree in music...) This is another part of my addiction... entitlement, control, anger, self pity, expectations...
Things haven't been going all too well at work lately and I just want to give up and walk out (of course with a big scene, burning - no - blowing up bridges on my way out the door). This is the longest I've ever held a single job - 3 years this April.
With the economy, I'm told, "You better be grateful you have a full time job!" Yeah, but at what cost? Is this just a phase? Am I being pulled elsewhere?
F**k if I know.
I do know that my 4 year clean-iversary is coming up in exactly one month. Best be workin my program with vigilance!
If you don't like your situation you can change it. One thing I've learned 30 years Clean I can do anything I choose to do. I have the ability to make choices today. Do the foot work to change your work situation if that's what you want to do. Do the foot work and leave the results up to HP. AND be careful what you pray for, you just might get it!
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Work the Steps or Die MF. (My Friend :) Clean One Day At a Time by The Grace of God through The Power of NA
Better to rant than to use drugs. Being clean is not always fun or easy--no one promised me it would be--but it is heck of a lot better than the misery of active addiction. When I have a case of the "hates" making a gratitude list can help. It may sound corny but it works!
Maybe the best thing is to just do what youd said,,, go to a rock or a wall,, make sure no ones around,, then begin screaming at it,,,, all the most vulgar words you can use to describe your situation will be perfect..
The aim is ti express true feelings and if you do so to someone theyd surely get hurt and want to retaliate.
But the rocks been around for million years and used to all sorts of rough weather and will stay silent..
then after 5 or 10 minutes,, lo and behold,, youll have the most precious feeling: SERENITY.
God Grant that I may accept what I cannot accept and change what I can change !!!!
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
The Primal Scream (as youd probably know) was written about first in a book by a famous psychiatrist, a specialist in getting people to let go of negative emotions and deep hurt....
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
