for lack of a better word I chose thatI am kinda in a weird state of mind I really just don't care I am really rethinking the roomate deal but I go to pre op for a series of sureies that I have managed to put off for sometime and will need around the clock care.
My shrink is also saying I need that as well for now but I am not used to having someone here all the time some days are better than others which is "normal" just really frustrated I have never had to have someone care for me to this extent...I am grateful for her willingness we just need to get into the 2 bedroom so we have our own spot and more room to move about I out grew this apt years ago and to add another to it omg I am suffocating... I had to tell her that I have no room in my life for Drama and she tried to say well you used to do this.... passive aggressive guilt trips and I told her today how she respond to redirection when it come to some rules we have set in the house...part of me wants her here but part of me wants to do it alone Iam not sure what Iwant atm simplicity the old best friend that i grew to love not what she has becomeI thought I was a drama queen she takes it toa whole new level I just really can't have it like that in my life not right now that is a major reason I isolate atm I just hate ppl and what comes with that!!!!!
   today I have been abit more tolerant but she also was out most of the day so Iwas able to not have someone in my face all the time Ihave been sleeping alot anyway with me being sick and waht not
I go see one of my surgeons on friday so they can recontruct some things tha need to be redone since my uterus was removed this will be the first of many sugeries needed this year gotta start somewhere