There will be times, however, when we really feel like using. We want to run, and we feel lousy. We need to be reminded of where we came from and that it will be worse this time. This is when we need the program the most.
Basic Text, p. 81
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If were contemplating a relapse, we should think our using through to the bitter ends. For many of us, those ends would include severe medical problems, imprisonment, or even death. How many of us have known people who relapsed after many years clean, only to die from their disease?
But there is a death that accompanies a return to active addiction that may be worse than physical death. That is the spiritual death we experience when we are separated from our Higher Power. If we use, the spiritual relationship we have nurtured over the years will weaken and perhaps disappear. We will feel truly alone.
There is no doubt that we have periods of darkness in our recovery. There is only one way we can make it through those troubling times: with faith. If we believe that our Higher Power is with us, then we know that all will be well.
No matter how badly we may feel in our recovery, a relapse is never the answer. Together, we find recovery. If we stay clean, the darkness will lift and we will find a deeper connection to our Higher Power.
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Just for today: I thank my Higher Power for the gift of NA. I know that relapse is not the way out. Whatever challenges I face, I will face them with the God of my understanding.
When I feel like using drugs again, I need to think it through. What would happen? What would it be like? When I think about it clearly, I realize that using drugs again would take me right back down a familiar path of self-destruction. I don't need to do that today.
Whatever challenges I face, I will face them with the God of my understanding.
Thats the important thing to remember right there, sometimes our past gets forgotten under the lash of addictions attack on us those past memorys wont be there with much impact on whether we use or not.
If we're saved by grace we better damn well stay in that grace and remember just what got us out of the mess we were in. Yes consequences were part of it but what really removed the obsession? was it me? was it my past? or was it a power greater then all of these things? WHO and WHAT do I turn my life and will over too ?
Depend on your higher power more then anything, more then people places things and situation and you'll get through anything.......
Whenever I feel like using I tell myself if that what I want to do, ok. but theres a price to pay, am i willing to give up my boyfriend (who will not tolerate me using), my job, being able to pay my bills every month, having the money to get things I want or just go out with friends, etc. And then I make myself chose what I would rather have. One night of getting high, only to feel really shitty about it later or to chose to enjoy my life. So far its worked and Ive been making the right choices. I dont want to lose those things, its just not worth it anymore.
When I think about using I just think back to what I lost and how it killed me so bad. And now they are comming home reall soon. And its a blessing from all the help that I recieved from this program and the programs that the cps made me take. So if you ever think about using just think back to what will happen to you, and your family.......
We used this as a topic at our H&I meeting last night... got a good response from the inmates. This topic comes up over and over in there... and I think a few of them are quite familiar now with what to do when they get out: go to a meeting, get phone numbers, get a sponsor, work the steps, and GET INVOLVED! :)
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