it just totally goes against my nature, i like being mean and in charge
Been doing a lot of work lately, everything HAS to be on a schedule i'm painting peoples homes and they want EXACT times schedules , especially finish dates. So I use my intuitions, years of experience to figure a date and time, literally down to the hour i'll be finished, and that might be 2-3-4-5 days down the road.
Then i have my helpers who I have to watch over and make sure they dont screw up anything, make mess, do qaulity work which they dont cuzz there in a hurry to make me happy and get the work done, and i try not to bother them just let them do there thing but i always have something, no I always FIND something that's not right and there both great painters ( journeyman union painters ) it just that no ones perfect,,,,,,,,,,,,
So God gives me what I can handle. I usually get a week or so in between each job to rest and calm down, then another one pops. I'm doing well financially no worrys other then dont waste the money I have, so im being a miser but on the other hand i am giving my guys bonus's after each job, nothing big $20-$50 extra, I figure its a steak dinner with lobster .
My hearts kinda broken still over my last girl friend, we dont talk at all anymore, i miss parts of her and i believe i've been pretty much thrown to the wind by her, told her i couldn't just be her friend, knowing she was dating or going steady with someone, I havent let it go all the way usually that takes getting someone new. I just feels like i need to process the whole thing through, not just move on to the next woman, its an obsession, like a drug like i'm kicking dope. So i'm kinda trying to work the program it FORCES me to become spritual constantly because its constantly on my mind so i have to turn it over and over and over and over , but WHY I couldnt stand that girl sometimes, she's a childish rediculous person, who lied and played games with me for the longest. Then i feel foolish and used then i get angry then i remember i didnt do a good job of keepin my temper with her and blame myself LOL. See, I need to process this more.
Anyhow, hope everyone has a good week, hang in there it gets better, then it gets worse, then it balances out, and you realize how greatful as hell you are and that life is good no matter what, as long as we dont use, trust God( higher power), work the programs , help others.....
Your doin what you need to do Vin!,share it.Yes you are correct we do get weary,but we can always look back and see that we are in a much better place than where we came from..I am a production manager in a facility for 'people with disabilities" and man I could scream daily(actually I did for awhile)cause the organization,the communication and the way we do things drives me nuts,(notice the me word)When I step back and think though why I am really here,to serve the population I work for,makes me chill and reach a different perspective.Been here like 32 years now and working in the spirit is ohh so much better than "being the boss".God knows I work for Him so at days end,when i've done my best,reached out at least once to help someone,I m okay.No doubt some days definitely better than others,but all always better than they used to be "out on the tiles".Broken hearts take a long time to heal my friend,have faith you will be brought to the situation that your HP has planned for you...and try to stay out of the way(man we sure can ask for help ,then jump in and do it huh!!! :) :)Talk with you on the rebound,have a blessed and productive day!!!!!
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
I love it when i'm in the 'spirituality zone'....I usually have at least a few moments during the day when i feel really connected to my higher power. Some days, I'm pretty spiritual for much of the day, but most days seizing back my will happens and I will have some consequences. Of course the consequences i deal with today are nothing compared to the ones that visited me daily during my using days. So y'know progress not perfection. But still............
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