Our 24 year old son, a recovering Heroin addict,was not sent to jail last night.As a father and a parent, I am relieved. As an addict, I pray that the impact of his taking personal responsibility is being ingrained in his process.He was able to work out some kind of agreement with probation(not get violated) and the court system and by paying $190.00 restitution, and not being arrested again in next 6 months,he will be given an ACD(adjournment contemplating dismissal)There may be time added to his 5 year probation term?I can only work my own program and remain powerless over his, but by continuing to put into action the spiritual principles of our program, NA, and remaining God centered, I faithfully seek my Higher Powers will and get out of the way and patiently wait and watch for the answers.We must all find our own way,but knowing we are not alone,can make the difference in our journey. Being not only an addict ,but also suffering from co-dependency,I want to not allow the process for others to take place,God gives me the strength,to let go and I know from my own addiction,that 'WE' must individually make the decisions (never did find that parenting manual!!!).....Thanks for allowing me once again to take part in my own recovery by sharing the things of my heart.Have a blessed and productive day!!
__________________
Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
Here's hoping he 'gets it' before some real consequences slam him. I can only pray for you and his mother, that you are not overcome by the pain. Hang in there dude.
Thanks for sharing. It's always painful seeing still suffering addicts who for whatever reason never seem to get it. I don't have kids so can only image your compounded pain. I hope your son's court and probation system is enlightened enough to make attending NA Meetings a requirement of his probation. Court ordered attendance doesn't mean he'll get it of course, but it takes away the excuses and offers the solution when he does hit his real bottom if he hasn't yet.
__________________
Work the Steps or Die MF. (My Friend :) Clean One Day At a Time by The Grace of God through The Power of NA
Thanks Don, yeah we have been watching this since early 2006 when my son started mainlining when he was just 18.Went downhill rapidly with all the pain that follows.(him and us and all around)It was soon after I showed up at Naranon(been there 4 years now)Even as an addict in recovery(and believe me after over 21 years clean at that time,,, my recovery was shaken)I found as a parent I had many co-dependence issues .I knew from my own addiction that I was ultimately powerless but I needed more help.Our total faith beliefs in our Higher Power and working of spiritual principles and really putting into action of my life have been the difference..............Yes thanks Mike,,, he does go to 5 day a week intensive outpatient programming but won't follow through with Narcotics Anonymous.He has made meetings,when locked up or in TC'S ,TRANSITION PROGRAMS but he seems just not ready to "really: surrender...He has read bulletin#29 about NA'S stance on sharing,service positions,chairing meetings etc...He is fully aware of our 3rd tradition(especially as written in "IT WORKS HOW AND WHY.(only requirement is desire,an unmeasurable quotient)He understands how group autonomy works in our 4th tradition and how it is also viewed and written..He is aware he can relate in other ways just being there,,,,,He feels if he is not allowed to share,do any service etc it is a waste of time.We definitely differ on our approach to recovery but we are "each responsible for our own recoveries.He knows about "subs" he actually used them for awhile and debates the issues of using and making meetings ,wouldnt be nodding etc...He understands that kicking the juice will be harder than the junk..He has made "speaker jams with me (I work them or sometimes speak and he does attend my yearly celebrations and we make others anniversaries, so I only can continue to work my process,stay in the solution remaining God centered and give back to the best of my ability and by each one ,reaching one ,to teach one I can continue to pray and remain hopeful..This disease ain't no joke and I don't play with it.I know what I need for my recovery and I can only be responsible for me...God is in charge and His will be done! As God has unconditional love for me I also for my son,but sometimes it has to be from a distance...Thanks for support guys,it is truly a blessing ,one helping another.....
__________________
Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
I know how painful it can be to watch someone you love destroy their life even when they have been around recovery as your son has and as my children have but you are doing the right thing by loving him from a distance because you know what it will do for you if you try to control his life. When all else fails we return to the basics of life that we know works. Meetings, readings, sponsors and step working. Hang in there, I'll pray that one day it will get better for you all before its too late for your son.
he does go to 5 day a week intensive outpatient programming but won't follow through with Narcotics Anonymous.He has made meetings,when locked up or in TC'S ,TRANSITION PROGRAMS but he seems just not ready to "really: surrender
I think you nailed it there Mike. He knows from being close to you that NA works. All the other stuff, the TC's, the intensive outpatient, the counselors etc. are fine window dressing and will look good to a judge, but he knows what REALLY works, and he's just not ready to start a new way of life. When the pain is great enough he will come around. All we can do is pray that this day comes soon.
Funny---not the ha ha kind---my daughter was "raised" in NA & later AA and basically grew to hate it (so she sez), picking up a lot of her dad's attitude (bunch of weak-willed losers, duntchaknow? )
And yet, when she was out in LA, and had a friend sick on dope, and I went out there to help her get back to Virginia, the very first thing she asked me to do was go to an NA meeting and get "the book" so she could give it to her friend. She though it might help him!
Doesn't really relate to your rollercoaster ride with Eric, but for some reason just thought I'd share that. Maybe something about the "planting seeds" thing.
__________________
From dying and surviving to living and thriving. LeeU
Mike it is so nice to see you so grounded through all this..... It just proves that this programme works and by letting go and trusting in your higher Power we can handel anything. Stay strong my friend......
