I live far away from any meetings and have just been staying clean for a long time, that is to say, I havnt been working a program. I feel so very empty and worthless and really feel like I need someone to say" I love you". just staying clean isnt working, so I guess I need to find a sponsor and start getting to meetings at any cost. But most importantly I need to start working a program.
HEY MAN, COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS, i have only been clean a little over 3 months and you have been blessed with 22 years! you're doing something right!!! hope you can find a meeting, a home group, a sponser, and get you a network going. good luck...
welcome Jim,glad you showed up,7 days ago I celebrated 26 years clean, I am working a strong program,and at times I also feel a little empty,never worthless though,as I continually work the spiritual principles that allow me to feel these emotions and then move forward in the solution.One of my favorites few lines from our literature says that"the progression of recovery is a continuous uphill journey,without effort,we start that slide down the hill again,but the progression of the disease is ongoing evenduring abstinence "!Once we know,we no longer can say we don't..Remember ,you have a 3rd step in your life,make the decision,followed by action and let your Higher Power work out the results.Stay close we need you man!!!peace......
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
Hi jim I know what you are saying I have 26 years clean For the first 6 year I when to meeting every day. Had a sponsor and sponsee. But there came a day I pulled a 13th step by the way she has 20 year clean now. I slowly started going to less and less meeting My sponsor moved I did get a new one. I was to busy with my new family My sponcees got new sponsors. I stop going to meeting. I went about 15 year with out a meeting. The last chip I got was my 10 year. In those 15 years I went to collage and raised 5 kids hers, mine, and ours. The one thing I never let go of was the steps. The kids grew up and I had to much time, life started to get boring. Then I found out I was sick and need treatment. One of the drug I was to take could cause depression and the doctor wanted me to take an anti depressant. I told the doctor I got the 12 steps and I got a higher power Didn't need your anti depressants. needles to say at 8 weeks into the treatment I willing ly took the anti depressant. After treatment I started to going to meeting Got a sponsor who happens to be one of my old sponsees. Pick up my 25 year chip and a year later pick up my 26 year. Now I'm back in service work. Looking for time a full life again. And don't need anti depressant. what is this no spelling check Oh well LOL
Hi Jim, glad you've found us here...... I also live in a small country town that did'nt have any meetings until I started one...... It's a small group but it carries a strong message of recovery. I get most of my recovery here. I visit this site daily and it helps me to keep my recovery close. It also keeps me in contact with other recovering addicts. I don't feel alone anymore. I hope it can do the same for you.
Jim keep coming back, we love you ,I realasped after 10 year s I was feeling emty and worthless and hopeless about some of the choices I had mad,I felt ashamed of myself and had stop giong to meetings I end up using,I came back it wil bel 5 year s this summer just for today the program and the people have loved me back to health it works .We love you Jim keep coming back!
-- Edited by Chewyey on Thursday 9th of December 2010 10:52:51 PM
Welcome. It is good that you acknowledge what is going on with you. You know what it takes to start feeling better again. I hope you are able to get back to meetings.
Thanks for the exlent replys to my thread thus far fellow addicts. I went to a meeting last night and was finally able to let my backed up emotions pass through, its amazing how getting honest with myself and all of you really helps. Im off to another meeting tonite...im gonna keep going till I find a sponsor and get back in the groove. I also plan to keep active here in this forum. Thanks for saving my life NA. That includes all who posted here.
Fantastic that you have been able to stay so clean so long! I was watching UTUBE trying to figure out how I am going to stop my at least $50,000 year sickning pain pill obsession and I watched a kid who I could actually relate to who ended up quiting. Anyway I was directed here and you are an inspiration. Think back to where I am now and remember that hell! So glad to see the support u have right here and obviously you are a very strong person. Love and blessings my dear.
Jim you aren't alone. Ain't it a bitch when we know the answers but get too complacent to act! Self will run riot can be "fun" for awhile, but it definitely isn't the solution and sure can suck out my self esteem. This week I've been to two NA meetings. about as many as I'd hit in the last 5 years or so. Found the one I'll likely make my Home Group again.
Found this forum few days ago, joined today and will Keep Coming Back...
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Work the Steps or Die MF. (My Friend :) Clean One Day At a Time by The Grace of God through The Power of NA
Lanem, Now that I took a second look at my statement " i live far away from meetings" it seems my addict thinking exaggerated that . the closest meeting is 30mi away on monday nites, I can find a meeting any other nite of the week within an hour and 30 min...its nothing that cant be done, I went to any lengths to use, I can go to any lengths for recovery. If you had other sugestions im open for them.
Lanem, Now that I took a second look at my statement " i live far away from meetings" it seems my addict thinking exaggerated that . the closest meeting is 30mi away on monday nites, I can find a meeting any other nite of the week within an hour and 30 min...its nothing that cant be done, I went to any lengths to use, I can go to any lengths for recovery. If you had other sugestions im open for them.
Nope, you pretty much answered your own questions on what needs to be done in your first post! Go to meetings again (and choose a Home Group), find a sponsor, AND I'll add get involved in Service Work. You can only Keep What You Have by Giving It Away!
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Work the Steps or Die MF. (My Friend :) Clean One Day At a Time by The Grace of God through The Power of NA
Fantastic that you have been able to stay so clean so long! I was watching UTUBE trying to figure out how I am going to stop my at least $50,000 year sickning pain pill obsession and I watched a kid who I could actually relate to who ended up quiting. Anyway I was directed here and you are an inspiration. Think back to where I am now and remember that hell! So glad to see the support u have right here and obviously you are a very strong person. Love and blessings my dear.
