We use the tools available to us and develop the ability to survive our emotions.
Basic Text, p. 31
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Survive my emotions? some of us say. Youve got to be kidding! When we were using, we never gave ourselves the chance to learn how to survive them. You dont survive your feelings, we thoughtyou drug them. The problem was, that cure for our unsurvivable emotions was killing us. Thats when we came to Narcotics Anonymous, started working the Twelve Steps and, as a result, began to mature emotionally.
Many of us found emotional relief right from the start. We were tired of pretending that our addiction and our lives were under control; it actually felt good to finally admit they werent. After sharing our inventory with our sponsor, we began to feel like we didnt have to deny who we were or what we felt in order to be accepted. When wed finished making our amends, we knew we didnt have to suffer with guilt; we could own up to it and it wouldnt kill us. The more we worked the NA program, the better we felt about living life as it came to us.
The program works today as well as it ever did. By taking stock of our day, getting honest about our part in it, and surrendering to reality, we can survive the feelings life throws our way. By using the tools available to us, weve developed the ability to survive our emotions.
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Just for today: I will not deny my feelings. I will practice honesty and surrender to life as it is. I will use the tools of this program to survive my emotions.
NA really has helped me deal with my emotions. I am learning to feel my emotions, live with them, work through them, and move on, instead of trying to numb them away with drugs.
I still struggel with the way I feel from time to time, but today I don't have to change the way I feel, I can just accept my emotions for what they are and know that they will pass.
Sometimes I get crazy over something and can't seem to let it go. At these times I really rely on my support group and prayer. The most important thing I remind myself is that "this too shall pass" And of course it does. ALWAYS....that was something I just couldn't get when using. What I was feeling at any moment was all I knew, and I insanely thought it would never pass (hence the drug). Now I know better and the quality of my life has improved a thousand percent. Now when my boat is seriously rocked I have tools to survive the moment in a healthy way. No more self destructive behavior disguised as a solution. Thank God for Narcotics Anonymous.
