I just wanted to take the time to introduce myself. My name is Elisse and I am an addict in recovery,and my drug of choice is powder cocaine. The first time I have ever done this was back when I as 16 years old. Well I have left it alone up until December of 2009.I started up again after I was incacerated for 3rd dui. I wanted to party but didnt want to drink. Well I ran into some friends ( no longer now ) and they had it. I went through alot while incarcertated,because my boyfriend at the time was cheating on me was NOT paying our bills,because he was to busy partying it with other women off of craigslist to satisfy his every need. I got a hold of some , did alot of it and just escalated from there. Knowing I was a probation I have decided to take my chances and keep doimg every chance I had. Well the probation called and to make a long story short,I got busted with 3 hot dirties. I did 60 days for it,and I have been clean since March 17,2010. Sorry my introduction was so long.
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<3 Give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way <3
Welcome. You have made a good start. Have you started to go to meetings yet? The answers are still the same. go to meetings, get a sponsor, work the steps, and go to meetings. Keep posting here, we want to share in the joy of your recovery!
Thank you .Yes I do go to alot of different meetings here in my area. I had found two people I wanted to use as sponsors. A situation had come up with one due to her husband being in the Air Force she had to move to Rammstein AFB in Germany whom still calls me from time to time,and the other relapsed after 4 years of sobriety. Im struggling to find a sponsor. Im picky on who I choose. Is that wrong for me to be that picky? Its kind of stressful for me,but I do use my tools and call other people to scratch that itch so I dont go out and use. I want a sponsor so bad,and I want to remain clean until my days here on earth expire.
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<3 Give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way <3
Welcome we are glad you found us.I believe you will also come to realize that our "drug of choice" is an illusion, as my friend would say the thing we thought would most 'goose our endorphins.We are powerless over 'ADDICTION".. a physical,mental and spiritual illness .It is not how much we use but it is our reaction to he drug that make us addicts.We learn the 'solution' to the dlemma but taking suggestions from meetings,getting a sponsor to 'get into the solution,and the culmination when we are ready to carry the message of our "primary purpose to the still sick and suffering..'AN ADDICT ANY ADDICT ,CAN STOP USING DRUGS,LOSE THE DESIRE TO USE AND FIND A NEW WAY TO LIVE!!! We do this together,one day at a time....You have made a great decision by showing up here,sharing to the best of your ability and be willing to do 'whatever is necessary to move forward in recovery!!Congratulations on surrendering on march 17th,2010, We can promise you it wil be the best decision you ever made!!!! :)The message is hope and the promise is freedom from active addiction!!! :)
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
Its so amazing even though its only been 196 days of clean time as of today,but it feels good to actually start thinking rationally again about certain situations,I have more energy to do things like go for walks,clean house,things that are constructive and DEstructive. Now that I have that felony record ,its hard as heck to find a job. I cant work in a bar atomosphere even if it has a restaurant in it ( i.e. AppleBee's ). I have been a waitress for 21 years and thats all I know,and thats an everyday struggle in itself.
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<3 Give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way <3
It's not necessarily 'bad' to be picky about finding a sponsor. This is an important person in your life. but you need to examine your motives. Are you being selective because you want to find someone who works a recovery program you admire and who you think you can easily talk to? Or are you looking for something not entirely recovery related? The restaurant business is tough on recovering addicts. I have seen many waitresses bartenders etc come and go through the rooms. Most of those who are staying clean, got out of that business. Sorry, but as the saying goes "if you keep going to a barber shop sooner or later your going to get a haircut" I'm glad your going to meetings, but "the solution is in the steps" and to work the steps you need that sponsor. Someone told me once to pray that my sponsor will reveal himself to me. I tried it, and within a couple of weeks I knew who I would ask. Thanks for sharing and keep us posted on your progress. peace.
Welcome Elisse I'm glad you found us here.....I don't think it's wrong of you to be picky, when it comes to finding a sponsor you need to feel comfortable and be able to trust her with your life, cause that's what we deal with on a daily basis, take care my sister in recovery and hope to read more from you soon.....
No its absolutely recovery related all the way. I have applied at a restuarant here that has no bar in it and i went to 1 interview because they said they do 2. They told me they had 6 more to do and they would call me. Well I allow four days to pass without a call. So i took upon myself to call them and asked them if they had hired anyone yet. they told me " No one has called you,and told you?" I was like " Told me what?" "Well we have hired our 6 waiters/waitresses already" I was like ok thank you and let it go at that. NOW if I was NOT in recovery my response to that would have been rude as heck and very uncivilized,BUT since I am and I do have my foot in the door I didnt go off on them. I knew if I were to go off on them about it they would throw my application away. I didnt so if they need anyone they can call me. I was irate about the whole situation and this was recently,but I kept my cool and Im still searching for a job.
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<3 Give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way <3
Welcome! Sounds like your problem is more than just cocaine if you have had DUIs. In NA, we admit we are powerless over all mind/mood altering drugs, including alcohol. Alcohol was not the drug I was trying to stop when I came to NA, but it certainly had gotten me into trouble. Also, when I couldn't get my drug of choice, I turned to alcohol.
Just my 2 bit hon,,, hanging round the barber shop is one thing,, actually being the barber is another,,,hahaha !!!
In recovery, Ive tried my best to be other than a musician by profession, cause thats what I do well. Ive had issues like waiting 10 years before I went back to music, not being in too many shows etc. Ive tried management things like running a nursery, antiques trade and events trade. I never felt as natural in those as i did when I was playing music.
Recently, Ive noticed Im getting more selective about what shows I do and doing more meetings and service time in NA. Yes, I do still play music, I play sax. Ive become quite well known and enjoy entertaining people with my music.
I invariably play in events that have guests drinking alcohol. I invariably adjust to whats going on there, do my job, have dinner and go.. I mustsay Ive never been tempted to drink.
I remind myself, and others remind me in sharings, that thinking of alcohol as diferent from other drugs has caused many addicts to relapse. That and knowing that Im powerless over alcohol, other drugs and over addiction keeps me safe. I share feelings in meetings and do what needs to be done to stay in recovery...
Yes, the saying is true that if one hangs round a barber shop long nuff,, then a haircuts on the way..
But I am not there for a haircut,,, Goddamn,, Im the barber himself,,,ha,ha,ha !!!
Well, nuff said, I dont want to misguide newer members,,,,, but realize I waited 10 years to get back in em shops,,,,,
And in these days, when everyine's having haircuts and hairdo's,, sometimes it's Godawful difficult to not be emotionally at odds with it,, But this Program works,,, I got long, long hair !!
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
Congratulations on the six months and welcome! I love this board and use it often. I picked my sponsor 21 years ago simply because he was the only male over 18 with more than a year clean time. I have no idea what my life would be like without him today.
I think I had about six months when I asked him, maybe a little more or less.
Keep posting here it's a great forum and glad to have you.
.Yes I do go to alot of different meetings here in my area. I had found two people I wanted to use as sponsors. A situation had come up with one due to her husband being in the Air Force she had to move to Rammstein AFB in Germany whom still calls me from time to time,and the other relapsed after 4 years of sobriety. Im struggling to find a sponsor. Im picky on who I choose. Is that wrong for me to be that picky? Its kind of stressful for me,but I do use my tools and call other people to scratch that itch so I dont go out and use. I want a sponsor so bad,and I want to remain clean until my days here on earth expire.
