Amen VIRGINIA,SOMETIMES OUR CLEAN TIME IS DEFINTELY OUR BIGGEST ASSET.In time we learn to love ourselves as we do the work and keep moving forward.We do recover,a day at a time.Glad your here to help keep us clean for another day!
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
As a recovered addict/alcoholic, mother, daughter, friend, sister, employee, etc etc etc, one thing I learned as I moved along with these steps was that the good things I did and the good parts of relationships were not totally wiped out. I also learned that prolonged self-pity or self-flagelation is just another way of asserting my power, which is not going to get me anywhere good as far as working this program, growing healthy, and keeping the active addiction in remission goes.
-- Edited by LeeU on Sunday 19th of September 2010 07:14:16 PM
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From dying and surviving to living and thriving. LeeU
Hi Virginia, When I first got clean I felt just like you.... I thought that everything I touched I F-cked. I needed to learn that I wasn't BAD I was SICK......I had a disease, one that was progressive......As long as I didn't pick up my life would get better and so would the lives of those around me. I was my harshest critic and I needed to learn to forgive myself. We are given this programme to help us get well and stay well one day at a time.The best way to make amends to our family and our friends is to not pick up NO MATTER WHAT. This is what has worked for me and today I can look at myself in the mirror (which is something that I couldn't do in early recovery) and say "your a good person".Today I know that I'm lovable.....
You know as the clean days up. As you pass yet another day where you did the next right thing, the pain starts to fade. Your higher power instills in you a feeling that "yes, I am worthy of good things" and they begin to happen to you. It doesn't happen overnight but it does get better, one day at a time.
