I can't stop my head arguing with itself

Fran1972 · Newbie

I can't stop my head arguing with itself

Pedro · Member

Hello Friend,

Our obsessive thoughts and emotions will continue to haunt us, but it gets better with time. I still continue to struggle with the should've, could've, and would've. You did the right thing by staying away from a person, place, or thing that could risk your recovery for today. Just as long as you put the 8 suggestions and most importantly stay clean, you have a successful day under you belt.

Raman · Guru

Dear Fran,, what a wonderful sharing of your reality !!!
It bites me back into reality too !!!
Basically this is a just for today program.

The word PROGRAM indicates that we repeat certain things,,, here in NA we repeat certain principles of action each and every day of our lives !!!

1. We change our old playmates, playgrounds and playthings.. This needs no explanation and is obvious,, we stop going back to the joints we hung out in, we stop answering and stop talikng to people we used with and we search out and destroy using paraphernailia!!!

2.We replace the above with
a.mettings, and like it says in our BASIC TEXT" a meeting a day for the first 90 days of our recovery is a good idea".
According to me it never fails. The basic change when we attend meetings regularly, listen to recovery stories and sharings on NA principles,getting to share our own everyday problems has worked like nothing else has, for countless addicts all over the world, even me !!!
Keep Going Back to these life saving meeetings, no matter you see old associates who have caused you a lot of pain.
Like it says
"the pain of having to sit in a meeting around people you hate, is better than the pain of going back to using".
Seems like this may be the last chance one has for recovery.
b. find someone you see as one who can guide you in your recovery.
This trusting,caring encounter that you will ahev with recovering addicts will teach you to love yourself, no matter what !! they will love you till then and give you insights and guidance that will change your life.
one of them may even become your sponsor.Sponsorship is vital to recovery because it is the heartbeat of NA.
asking someone to sponsor you is a previlege and remember not to be shy about this.
c.Pray, write, contemplate and the like when you have some free time for yourself.After all, NA teaches us to be comfortable with ourselves and to be at peace with others. Most importantly, in these nigh on 18 years that Ive been in NA, a day at a time, ive realized a thing called self acceptance, that has led me to accept others, that in turn has led me away from resentment and hate, which in turn keeps me clean.
Have a good time in recovery and remember
JUST FOR TODAY MY THOUGHTS WILL BE ON MY RECOVERY,LIVING AND ENJOYING LIFE WITHOUT THE USE OF DRUGS !!!
Please tell yourself this,as many times you can !!!!

hugs from a faraway recovering addict(but near in the spirit of this wonderful Fellowship)
My name is Raman
clean and serene just for today
in the 12Step Tradition of Narcotics Anonymous Worldwide !!!

-- Edited by Raman at 11:45, 2005-08-26

CC · Newbie

Our obsession to use can kill us, but only if we act on it. Seeking an online meeting was a very smart thing to do. But there is more you can do to insure your recovery has a chance.

Suggestions:

Please, please, please buy yourself a BASIC TEXT and read it. there are personal recovery stories in the back that you will be able to relate to.

Going to MEETINGS is a good idea. Everyday. That is what I needed to stay clean. I did about 360 days of meetings out of 365 that first year.

GET A SPONSOR who can talk with you one-on-one when you run across a situation like this, who can gage more objectively whether there is greater danger of relapse from staying home from a meeting, or running into this person.

Remember, the newcomer (that's you) is the most important person in the room. If you share what is going on, the NA members in the meeting room will help you to resist talking to this person. A sponsor may also be able to recommend some alternative meetings to you, or may even be willing to help you start a new meeting, depending on the areas needs.

Get phone numbers of people with more than a year clean, and/or who seem to be working a strong program, and CALL them, BEFORE using.

This is part of my story:

I was once approached by my old drug dealer in a public restaurant during fellowship (that is when addict's go out after a meeting to talk about life, to talk about staying clean,, or just to enjoy each other's company) with my NA friends. Spiritually, I was in a very unfit place that night. Even with some time in the program, I had been having thoughts of using (happens to all of us, even though they lessen over time). He claimed to be in the program, and wanting to help me. Maybe he was trying to help, and I do believe he was clean, just for that day. He said he had just gotten out of detox. Still, I KNEW he was not the one to help me that night.

I went over to the table that was the busiest with recovering addicts with some time. I told them how vulnerable I was feeling, and asked for their help. They guided him off to a spot further away, and some addicts who were better able to share their recovery with him spoke with him for quite some time. THAT solution was good for my recovery and it did not hurt his. I have only seen him in a meeting once, since; unfortunately he did not stick around. At that meeting, I was able to put principles before personalities and welcome him. But I l made it brief, and let him talk with others. He did not cause me any difficulty there.

I have had conflicts with people in the rooms, but generally have found it was better for me to go to the meeting than to miss it. If I needed to, I left the room during that person's share. I trusted others to act in a protective role if necessary.

Today, I know this:

If I really want to use, NOTHING will stop me. If I really, really want to stay clean, I WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES to stay clean.

I also know that I can always ask another addict or two to talk to me outside of the room if I am not comfortable in it. Any two or more addicts who meet together for the purpose of staying clean, is considered a meeting.

Here are 2 more "if you cannot make a meeting" tips I have used to help me stay clean:

Call a church and asked for someone to talk to. Often a member of the clergy, or a church member will be able to listen, and to help. Sometimes, that member is even from a 12-step program of recovery from addiction or other issues.

One pastor who is very good with this sort of help in such a pinch can be contacted online via email at www.TCOSF.org (church website).

Get some Speaker's Meetings tapes to listen to when you are short a meeting.

Don't use, No Matter What. Get to a meeting as soon as possible. Keep reaching out. Remember that you are not alone.

Raman · Guru

Gee, this reminds me of the time, when even though I had good clean time and good recovery,,, i was denied being declared as elected for the position of RD here in my region...

It was extremely difficult to sit in a meeting,,, especially when that meeting had the guy who had been declared elected in ASC, but when i objected to the process and was found out that he did not actually win but I did, some vested interests did not accept that and because they were greater in mumbers and more violent and voiceferous and using recovery sharings to that end, thsi guy did represent as RD.

It was too pain ful then ,,, and even now hurts,,, at that time i had completely lost faith in the Group Concience process and was really helpless to do anyting about it..

i did even send off a grievence according to the Concept,, but naught came of it,,,, the vested interets were more interested in defending their choice and i was hurting like hell.

They hated me,,, but inspite i stayed clean by the Grace of Gid,,, proving the promise of NA that an addict,any addict,,, can lose the desire to use, just for today,, and find a new way to live !!!

Long live Narcotics Anonymous's12 Step Tradition and long live our own recoveries,,, keep coming back, it works ,, we are the proof !!!

Clean and serene just for today !!!The NA WAY !!!

gettingbackup · Veteran Member

easy does it

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