Thanks everyone for sharing here and giving me the feedeback that you do. I'm staying out of the relationship that wasn't good for me and am sort of sitting on my hands. I feel just a little raw on the inside and it's just because I am not getting my way. Not because there was a real loss.
Thanks everyone for reminding me that we're the same in so many ways.
I think the fear of not being in a relationship for me is based in the illusion of control. Somehow I feel like if there is someone in my life I can feel more loved. But being an addict, there is never enough of anything. I've tried to exert some control and that not only pushes people away, it leaves me empty inside when I try it.
I'm reading, praying, going to meetings and sharing with other addicts in person and on this board. Thanks everyone for being there for me, I'm a little less lonesome today because ya'll are here.