so my job is going really well and I haven't found it very triggering.  If you don't remember I"m working at a pharmaceutical company.  Life has been going along fairly smoothly.  The other day my character defects really came out and I had a blow out fight with my partner.  I was so angry and frustrated.  What scares me is that the behaviours and emotionally insanity that is connected to my mental health diagnosis were out in full bloom.  I actually left my house to go to the beer store! What happened was I stopped at the corner store and bought a pack of smokes.  Thank god where I live they don't sell beer at the corner stores.  I hadn't had a smoke in over a year and that night I had one.  I felt sick and that I had relapsed, though technically I don't need a white key tag.  At the end of it all, the only thing I've realized is that apparently I am not managing my mental health very well and that it is crumbling at my feet.  I have not been medicated for over a year because I thought I could do it on my own, but it's been shown that it is progressing slowly.  Anyways I have not had another smoke and I don't plan on it.  I may have slipped but I am determined not to fall

Thanks

Andrea