Please help.....I live in Northern NSW and there are no NA meetings in my area, the local rehab has meetings 5 days a week that I attend every now and then but I need support from older sober members. I'm 23mnths clean and I need to hear from other addicts that can relate to where I'm at which is apretty scarey place for me some times.I used for 30 odd years and I'm finding living my life without drugs boring ( I didn't want to use that word but I couldn't think of another) I totally isolate my self from the world cause I don't feel like I fit in any where. I finally bit the bullet today and attended the other fellowships meeting where I was told I was welcome but not to share about my drug use as that might scare the alcoholics away. Needless to say my self esteem plummeted and I'm left feeling alone on my journey. So please help any suggestions will be appriciated.
Glad you found this discussion board. Going to AA meetings can very helpful if there is no NA, as long as you respect their traditions and focus on alcohol only. Before there was NA, addicts went to AA. You may even find some other addicts there who are interested in forming an NA meeting in your area. That's what happened to me 25 years ago in my town. One of those addicts that I found in an AA meeting became my sponsor. We are both still clean today.
Hello & welcome. You are definitely in the right place. I used on & off for 27 yrs so I can probably pretty much relate to everything you're going through. Actually you posting about feeling isolated & not fitting in is exactly what I am going through myself. Even w/ my family I feel like an outsider most of the time. I feel like the biggest "bore" in the world now also. I know most of it is my fault because I do tend to isolate but it's just easier for me right now. Good Luck and keep coming back.
Stacey
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The Will Of GOD Will Never Take You Where The Grace Of GOD Will Not Protect You
Feeling that we don't fit anywhere and the isolation that naturally follows are primary symptoms of our disease. Feelings of loneliness and boredom can be preludes to relapse. Walking through the fear of being awkward around people is a huge step. There was a JFT reading last week, that I still think about. "Over sensitivity, insecurity, and lack of identity are feelings often associated with addiction" Wow, did that hit me. It is as true for me now as it ever was. It causes me to want to avoid people and stay immersed in my self centered obsession, which the literature tells us is the core of our disease. I completely understand not feeling comfortable at AA meetings. I was "invited to leave" an AA meeting years ago for sharing about drugs. But I got over that resentment and will occasionally go to AA just because I need to be around people in recovery. I don't share, I just listen and then hang out and talk a little while after the meeting. I don't work, my children are grown and on there own, and I never made friends easily. It is a big challenge for me daily to get out and be around people in any capacity. but I pray for the courage and push my way out the door. I always feel better for it. Find people who are not using and join them in activities. You don't have to wear a sign that says "I am an addict" just go out among people living a healthy lifestyle. It can't hurt. Thanks for sharing this, please keep coming back and let us know how your doing.
Ruthy: Good job at staying clean 23 months. I'm online your time 6:30pm to 3:00 am weekdays. Post and I'll usually share with you within in an hour.
I have to tell you that I seldom give advice but I am betting you that there's another dope fiend there feeling the same way (at the AA/other fellowship meetings you are talking about) if you can find one, get a book, a cofffee pot and a building, room, shack, afterhours office that will let you meet at 8:00 pm at least 1 night per week, preferably two (a week day and a Saturday night) and start one. Many days , even weeks may pass that you pour out the coffe rather than drink it all, but there are suffering addicts everywhere.
I think it's been proven that we can't allow ourselves to get bored and when we do we have to find another recovering addict and work together to help other addicts get clean. That is our primary purpose! When we are fulfilling our primary purpose the God that expresses himself in our group conscience will absolutely guide us.
I pray for you and your community and the developement of Narcotics Anonymous there.
Maybe all you need to d to overcome isolaton is to start an outside NA meeting,, you know ?? A regular one outside, in a venus seperate from tc's.
Then invite people from the centres to attend; at least one meeting a week would be a great thing to happen.
Follwing that with AA meetings as well as online meetings and forum sharings will give you a firm recovery ground.
In the meanwhile, if you let me know what city you live in, and if you want to, I can have NA members in other areas call you or mail you. How does that sound ?
And yeah,, thanks for sharing RUTHY,,, this is exactly where i was too,, 22 years ago. Im reminded where i was,,, newcomer, no NA, no contacts etc.
Thank God and NA, Im not alone anymore, nor lonely.
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
Ruthy sounds like a perfect opportunity for you to get into service and like others have mentioned start a meeting in your area, this is part of the protocol, being in service and giving back whats been given to you, even if newcomers don't stay clean you can, bill w from the other fellow ship didnt get one alcohlic out of the first 100 clean but HE STAYED CLEAN , it keeps us greatful for the gift we have even if others aren't ready for it and it gives you a chance to plant the seed thats in you.
Isolation is definetly one of most of ours personality traits and it can be changed. I was an extreme isolationsist but by going to meetings daily it got me out of that place and its changed for me
Thanks for you help Raman The meetings you have suggested are about an hour and a half travel from where I live so I'm starting to lean toward starting an NA meeting my self here in Kempsey. I think I know a venue that would probly be free of charge so that's a good start. I just needed some confidence and some direction. So now I have the confidence could you please give me some direction on how I go about setting up a meeting in Kempsey, and thank you Big V you also helped with me with the confidence that I needed to make this decision.
-- Edited by Ruthy on Monday 2nd of August 2010 05:04:33 AM
Great start Ruthy! Remember to give a little for rent no matter even if it's just a token amount. The 7th tradition, you can read all that. Great to have you here too.
yes,, like Joe said, we need to be within Trad. 7.
hmmmmmm,, methodlogy ?? OK,, here goes...
1. Ask for meeting with facility manager or in charge. Briefly explain NA and what we do in meetings. Putting NA literature like information pamphlets can do a lot by way of presenting NA in the right light. Formally request one day a week for holding regularly scheduled meetings. Once they agree, offer to pay a small amount a rent, even if only a token as this will heep us out of obligations the facility we use. Once that is done and over with, we need to look at the next step in the process.
2. Resuming that there are reatment centres in Kempsey and that you have contacts with them, it maybe a good idea to ask them to send addicts to meetings. Also call up members who maybe living in your area and ask them to attend too. Then try and get attendance from members in areas around Kempsey; bigger areas may have outreach commitees that will want to help because the primary purpose of that committee is to reach out to developing areas like yours and assist with attendance, speakers, literature and discussions on service.
3. Now here's the moment; the big day has arrived and the meeting and you all have formed a circle and are saying the Serenity Prayer (or any pryer of chioce) starts. Introduce yourself as follow other standard operating procedures for meetings. All pertinent information is found in the Group Starter kit, however here it is. Intros and welcome. Maybe you say "Hi Im Ruthy and Im an addict, i welocme you to the first NA meeting here in Kempsey" Readings from IP1, Who,What, How and Why. Read Just For Today.. Welcome newcomers with a hug and small present like keytag or a piece of literature. Then ask if someone has specific topics they want shared or take the JFT as topic. If possible, ask someone from from more developed area to do a main share. If time permits, take a break after 30 or 40 minutes for tea/coffee and smokes. Plese inform members present to follow the rules regarding smoking; very important. Resume meeting with more sharings. It maybe helpful to announce that each one shares for about five minutes only, so that more present get a chance. Read out the 7th Tradition and ask newcomers to refrain from contributions. End the meeting. Read out the 12 Traditions. Cleantime acknowledgement, ask if anyone completes a milestone this day or week and give em a hug. Thank members who shared and all for being there. Announce that this will happen again next week, same time and same place. End with a prayer of your choice,, Fellowship...
Ruthy, that si a sort of template for meetings, Im sure you know all this already. Take assistance and help from those willing to help, especially from more developed aeas around Kempsey...
All the best of recovery luck to you and Godspeed the growth of the Fellowship in your area...
HUgs,,,,Steps and hugs and rock and roll.
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
