Everyone: I'll tell you now that my behaviors that drove me to start seeking help from my Higher Power daily and in fact the pain that helped me seek out sharing on this board was a relationship with a younger lady. I won't go into the boring detail but it was not healthy for me or her. I left a good relationship to chase someone who wasn't through with games (and obviously I wasn't either). It felt like love, you know? I'm sure I cared for her but I was not accepting of anything. And I knew it was unhealthy.
That was about 5 months ago. Well she started texting me again last night, trying to get back together. The knot in my stomach that I had the whole time we were together is back. 21 years no dope and I know this is not only not good for me but it's not what I want.
Well I returned the text with go to a meeting, I pray for you, things like that but I'm on the edge not to take it further.
The lady I left for this relationship is back in my life, wanting to be serene and together, wanting to share stuff with me and no drama. She's also the person I want to be with. But my head goes to the drama.
My mind's made up, no matter what I ain't gonna contact this person anymore. I deleted the numbers and don't have them. I've invited my HP into this several times, the bottom line is: Don't go there Joe, your mind is lying about it.
Excellent Joe! Very important to share form your heart man,thats what keeps us free.It definitely ain't easy,but each time we can take a step over what we 'may have done in the past' we gain strength and ability to continue getting over our hurdles without picking up or have our shortcomings and defects eat us alive..I'll keep you in prayer man,cause like our literature tells us early in,that we were in the grips of a hopeless dilemma,the solution of which is spiritual in nature. The spiritual nature of the God of our understanding,as we put our trust and faith in this Higher Power,get out of the way after we've taken the correct action ,and leave the results to Him. is our solution....Thanks for sharing, Joe,one helping another is how we do it!!! Pain shared I definitely believe is pain lessened..... peace
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
The devil is persistent! Sometimes,I just have to say "get behind me Satan! Hang in ,Joe, this too shall pass ..... talk about tweaking the anxiety level huh!!!Give an extra hug and thought to the one in your life now....This reading was instrumental in me getting a grip on the lustful area in my life(3 marriages,never faithful till my present wife) says" No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man ,but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it! You can find that way out,and will become even stronger......peace....
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
