The Ninth Step tells us to make direct amends wherever possible. Our experience tells us to follow up those direct amends with long-lasting changes in our attitudes and our behavior - that is, with indirect amends.
For example, say we've broken someone's window because we were angry. Looking soulfully into the eyes of the person whose window we've broken and apologizing would not be sufficient. We directly amend the wrong we've done by admitting it and replacing the window - we mend what we have damaged.
Then, we follow up our direct amends with indirect amends. If we've acted out on our anger, breaking someone's window, we examine the patterns of our behavior and our attitudes. After we repair the broken window, we seek to repair our broken attitudes as well - we try to "mend our ways." We modify our behavior, and make a daily effort not to act out on our anger.
We make direct amends by repairing the damage we do. We make indirect amends by repairing the attitudes that cause us to do damage in the first place, helping insure we won't cause further damage in the future.
Just for Today: I will make direct amends, wherever possible. I will also make indirect amends, "mending my ways," changing my attitudes, and altering my behavior.
Ours is a program of change. Yes, we must make up for the damage we have done, but our recovery is dependent on not being the same destructive person we were when caught up in active addiction.
i HAD JUST TALKED WITH MY WIFE OF 1966 AND i FIGURED NEVER A BETTER TIME To TELL HER again i WAS SORRY FOR THE DEVASTATION i HAD LEFT IN HER LIFE,HER new husbands and even my first children..i ASKED FOR FORGIVENESS IF IT WAS IN HER HEART AND IT WAS A BLESSED COMMUNICATION.TALK ABOUT FREEDOM HUH! NOW DO YOU THINK Just for Todays writings just show up randomly?? not me....anyway have a great day...lets keep our focus on our recovery and helping others to the best of our ability..seems to be raining again at MIP!! i GOT MY UMBRELLA ,the cloak of God! so im good........ have a blessed and productive day!!
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
making amends is a tuff chore at best but neccisary to a good recovery i had a tuff time with this alot of the things i did were lost in black outbut i have done the best i could and let god take the rest
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some of us win some of us lose with god and this program i will be a winner