I once thought " Im greatful to God for what I have and also what I dont".
To simplyfy, this meant that there are times when I pray for something and then when it comes i pray for it to be gone. Like it says in Step 6 (Basic Text) "Why pray for something that we are not ready for and then pray for it's removal".
My latest and most vivid experience with that sort of thing was my last girlfriend. I first prayed for her. I then became attached and against my better judgement prayed for her to be mine. Then when I got her, I got shocked about who she really was by nature and prayed to end that relationship. Im still recovering from it a year later but Im greatful for not having her in my life anymore. I just wasnt right for her nor was she for me but my ego and pride did not allow me to see that in the first place.
God gave me her as Id prayed, then God took her away as I prayed and now God has left me with me to figure out what I really want !!!
Im a very strange addictI and hope I havent confused you completely Don.
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
For me the hard part is maintaining the attitude of gratitude...for all of it---the giving, the taking, the "yes", the "no", and so forth. I continue to learn and re-learn that without the simplicity of honest gratefullness within my being, and for my being, I am in grave danger.
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From dying and surviving to living and thriving. LeeU
Yes Lee, that gratitude is more powerful than at first it seems. Without daily vigilance regarding gratitude, one can so quickly forget the gifts and slip right back to the negative.
Yes this Prayer works, I first heard it from a member in the other fellowship a few years back. I did not fully understand what thanking God for taking away from me is all about, until my father was diagnosed with Cancer in the last stages, until I saw the miracle happen all around, everyone of us in the family when he was in the last stages, suffering, and finally taking leave.
The way my relationship with my father turned around after we both knew that there's little time left, the way we opened up with each other, the time we spent with each other, the things we finally expressed to each other (which we would probably never have if not for his Cancer). I had the most wonderful 2 years of my life with him. What a blessing it was!
All of us siblings came together so strong, in a bonding which was never there before, we stood for each other, we supported each other, consoled each other, leaned on each other, and each of us gave our all for my father, it was so wonderful to witness...
After my father passed away a year and a half back, I kind of developed an anger with my Higher Power, and there were moments where I was angry that we couldn't have him anymore among us, that it was not fair. Situations and circumstances changed in the family. All of a sudden, there were these big shoes to be filled, left by my father, it was hard to even do for a week all that he did untiringly, caringly and so responsibly over 40 years! That's when all that he had told me when I was young, all that he tried to pass on to me, all that he so very much wanted his sons to learn and do, made sense to me. For every situation that I had to face, deal and be there for my mother and my sister, I thought of him, I thought of how he went about it, asking him to show me how to deal with the difficulty at hand. I started living like he did, perceiving and approaching situations like he used to. And today, although his shoes are too big to fill no doubt, I'm grateful that I have learned to be more responsible, more committed towards my loved ones than ever before. And I thank my Higher Power today for all that had to happen, for if my father did not pass on, I would never have grown up. And with this awareness, I do thank my Higher Power everyday for what has been taken away from me.
