went to the new shrink this week he got my mind wandering he asks me do you really wanna change and it's okay if you don't My response I wish I wouldn't have got the numbers wrong when I tried to kill myself well one of the ones 5 in the past well it'll be a year may 31 30th something llike that he look content in saying I know that is how you feel been rerally depressed have not even been on here long enough for anyone to catch me this is the longest I have been on in awhile unless I am playing a game but anyway I thought Iwould let you know what was going on
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Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough. Og Mandino
Morning Manon! We miss you .Our thoughts and prayers are with you and we wait patiently for your return.Take care of yourself.Good luck with new Doc and any meds
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
At the height of my depression, repetitive thought went on in my head like "what's the use anyways" "It's so meaningless!" " No one cares really" etc.etc.etc.
I didnt know it then but drugs had created that effect for me though in my 4th Step I recalled incidents at about age 10 when sitting with the family and thinking those same thoughts !
Thank God Guidance sorts it all out and though I may have nearly these same thoughts sometimes, it quickly becomes " Whats the use in being greedy anyways ?" " It's so meaningless; so it up to me to make meanings" " No one cares as long as I behave myself,, but I care about me staying clean and serene".
Hope you find that shift by getting Guidance from the doc and NA's and doing some Step writing love !!!
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
Manon,Thanks for an update.You are well,life is a day to day process. Hope all goes well with new shrink.Take care. 
