things seem to be getting worse the pysc nurse and the docs think long term might be helpful for me at this point cause nothing is changing for the better. To accept this is hard on me I have alienated myself from everyone I am alone outside this computer I pushed them all away as I realized I was changing personalities again I am deep in prayer thru many tears doc wants me to get mad relaese some of what is built up but hell I don't know how and with me switching it's "not allowed" wish there was an easy answer but this isn't gonna fix itself i just need to realize I do need more help than I am getting now... wishing "keli" would call just to let me know I am not alone but aT THE SAME TIOME DON'T KNOW IF i COULD DEAL with him being around again so many promises broken and too late to apologize broken by seether fits as does many other lyrics there are too many to list but I am trying to do the next right thing but it is difficult at the moment. I pressed charges on my father for his groping me at this age but have heard nothing from sex crimes which has brought alters back out that have not been in awhile I am alons and scared not knowing what to do or where to turn. Mentally exausted as well as spirtually and my pyscical isn't much better atm. This is the only place I knew to come to for Ihave been here since 05 and became my main source of support.................. what next?
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Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough. Og Mandino
Hey Manon! couple blessings 1) you refused to be a victim to your father and did what you thought was necessary 2) you do realize you need help and are putting it out for feedback.I would say weigh everything,your sanity,your isolation,your possible cause to harm yourself again against other things,definitely bring your HP into conference and "like we say"listen for suggestions.You'll have to be the final one to determine your journey.I can only pray for your peace.At times I do not understand some things you are saying but I always can feel your pain,your joy and your heart.In this process ,we learned to reach out and accept the help we need,a big step for not only an addict but also another human being.As I stated before ,I can't begin to know your life or whats going on inside except what you are able to share,but I do believe that isolation in any sense is not condusive to our addict behavior and probably not in general to our lives..Keep us in touch with whats going on,reach out if you need help 'make a decision,followed by action to do the things to get the help and its just like hovering around Step 1.you may not be powerless over the help that may be available to you but your life is definitely unmanageable and surrender is in the cards!!! I wish you peace for real!!
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
Going in-patient may be a good idea. I worked in in-patient settings for many years and saw the good it can do. You will be safe, you will have continuous monitoring so the chance for accurate diagnosis and medications is improved. Once stabilized you can then take numerous small steps to bring you all the way back. It is so sad to see how you suffer. I pray for your well being.
Manon,Do what your higher power thinks you should.Good you pressed charges against father,if you hadn't it may have kept happening.Keep strong,you may need long term treatment,it may help,they definitally can adjust your meds better while observing you.
things seem to be getting worse the pysc nurse and the docs think long term might be helpful for me at this point cause nothing is changing for the better.
wish there was an easy answer but this isn't gonna fix itself i just need to realize I do need more help than I am getting now... wishing "keli" would call just to let me know I am not alone but aT THE SAME TIOME DON'T KNOW IF i COULD DEAL with him being around again so many promises broken and too late to apologize broken by seether fits as does many other lyrics there are too many to list but I am trying to do the next right thing but it is difficult at the moment.
