fears in first clean year?How to deal with them?

murcia · Member

fears in first clean year?How to deal with them?

MIKEF · Guru

First of all Murcia,welcome to the family.Secondly congrats on your 11 months,3 days,every day clean for us is a miracle!!For me personally I had to basically reinvent everything I did.I eventually lost contact with people I hung with(those still alive)I did things out of ordinary for me,Martial arts group,running group,church group although I still gambled heavily and that took over the obsession of drug use until I got that together....My second set of children ,now in their mid 40's also were born 2 years after I got clean in '84 and I overcompensated as a father doing all "father things"I worked a program a NA and 2 other fellowships but until I really applied myself to the principles and spiritual part of NA life was I "clean but not serene!"I hope you are involved in the fellowship,have a sponsor and doing the work.Staying clean is absolutely different than "working recovery" believe me I lived it.Glad you found us,try not to project whats coming up,stay in the day,keep your support group close and always reach out to help someone.Trust in your Higher Power and surrender each day as our programs can fluctuate by His never does..Keep coming back,nice to meet you :) smile

murcia · Member

Thaks:)Well the thing is that here in estonia we have NA only in russian language.All the materials e.t.c.In here I`m the only estonian girl and I speak estonian, little bit russian but always not good enough.I have a sponsor but but again..the language problem.Now found that site and hope smile

I was allmost a year in a rehabilitation centre and now 2nd month in the city again.The adaption is complicated.It`s harder than I could imagine!Sometimes even walking on the street seems like everyone is watching and knowing that I`m an addict.I understand that the problem is in me..just dont know how to solve it.Hope that it`s just a difficult period and it will go by soon.I pray, every day.But I dont feel every day that I beleieve in wwhat I pray.

Thanks again!
Happy to be here!

MIKEF · Guru

Sorry Murcia,I didnt pick up on you being from ESTONIA!!.where the heck is that!!:) :)Anyway ,stick around ,BigV or someone will introduce you to online meetings here,give you some more info etc.Keep coming back.We are here for each other.Paranoia comes as part of the addiction problem,but walk tall,you are working recovery and gaining your way back into society,we say 'we didnt become addicted overnite so EASY DOES IT!!HOPE TO HEAR BACK FROM YOU. smile

...........

Raman · Guru

http://www.aaestonia.com
The Tallinn English-speaking group "Tallinn Nooner" meets
Tuesdays at 12:00 in the basement of Lastekodu 6A, Tallinn
(enter the courtyard, go to the second building on the left,
and ring the buzzer by pushing button "17").

We are a small group whose members can be away travelling,
so it might be a good idea to check in by sending an e-mail to
our aa-europe.net address -click here- in advance.
In any case, we would love to hear from you!

You are of course always welcome to join a meeting in Estonian
or Russian. Language has never been an obstacle in AA.
For information, call 052 999 55 (locally), +372 52 999 55 (from abroad),
as well as send e-mail via our website: http://www.aaestonia.com
(click the link Kontakt on left).

Raman · Guru

Hi Mari,,,
I posted the above in an attempt to point you towards recovery.
Though not NA, AA is certainly a safe harbour; it has been so for me and many other addicts.
It could well be for you too.

I came nto recovery (1987) from a treatment centre and went everyday to AA meetings.
Though I did not identify too much with the lifestyles of alcoholics, two things hppened.
The first was that I was in the company of other recovering people so I didnt have to be lone in my recovery.
The second was that addicts appeared there and we formed the first NA group in Bangalore India.

Today there are 13 groups and many recovering addicts who proudly call themselves NA members.

Keep up hpe and reach out, in this here Forum a well as in AA and many NA meetings in Finland.

We did have a Group called Loner Group Worldwide and addicts shared with ech other thru mail and telefone.
Im certain that www.na.org will have more info, so best of NA luck to you and hugs accross cyberland !

MIKEF · Guru

Raman! way to go ......Man i can't even find new york city with a map!!!! :) SEEK AND YE SHALL RECEIVE!! blessings across cyberspace........

Raman · Guru

Ha, ha !!!

Thanks for being in my recovery Mike,,
your Blessings count a lot !

God Bless you too,,, yea but yes,, youre already very Blessed,, so God Bless you more and more each day !

-- Edited by Raman on Tuesday 23rd of March 2010 02:45:54 PM

Raman · Guru

And a very,very happy belly button to you Mike,, well in advacne.
Though you will be 60 on 25th I offer you my respects, best wishes and gratitude early,, lest I forget.

-- Edited by Raman on Tuesday 23rd of March 2010 02:51:14 PM

murcia · Member

Thank You All for support.

I`ve been on a AA meetings few times.But I undestand that alcohol and narcotic addiction are a bit different.In AA they dont work with the Steps like in NA.
Anyway I`m greatful for all the information.And so glad that found this place.

With love hugging

MIKEF · Guru

Thanks Raman! 62 on thursday,my wife and I taking a bus trip to Connecticut for the day!Another clean birthday only by the grace of God!! smile

avid · Guru

HI Mari,
So nice to have you join us.
Please keep coming back and posting about your journey.

Fiesty · Senior Member

Welcome to NA - we seriously welcome you my friend - I am glad you found this site as I have - I speak english go to english speaking meetings and sometimes it is not enough - but I still go - because I know I am in the right place - It keeps me focus - I hope you continue to call your sponsor regardless of language and going to meetings - you are still particapating in your recovery - Hang in there my sister in recovery

Davethewave · Guru

Hi Mari,

THAT is a GREAT question. For me the fears did not go away when I started coming to NA, indeed many of my fears seemed to get stronger.

The answer to me was in the steps. I had to be willing to take them, without reservations. When I was finally so low, so beat, near dead, I became willing to try the steps.

It is a gradual process,and things come slowly. A little bit of fear can be good. It will remind you of how bad it is to relapse.

Welcome to the Miracles In Progress Group of Narcotics Anonymous! This is not an official NA site, nor is it endorsed by the NA World Service Office.