"It will not make us better people to judge the faults of another It will make us feel better to clean up our lives."
Basic Text, p. 38
Sometimes we need something tangible to help us understand what holding a resentment is doing to us. We may not be aware of how destructive resentments actually are. We think, "So what, I have a right to be angry," or, "I might be nursing a grudge or two, but I don't see the harm."
To see more clearly the effect that holding resentments is having in our lives, we might try imagining that we are carrying a rock for each resentment. A small grudge, such as anger at someone driving badly, might be represented by a pebble. Harboring ill will toward an entire group of people might be represented by a enormous boulder. If we actually had to carry stones for each resentment, we would surely tire of the weight. In fact, the more cumbersome our burden, the more sincere our efforts to unload it would be.
The weight of our resentments hinders our spiritual development. If we truly desire freedom, we will seek to rid ourselves of as much extra weight as possible. As we lighten up, we'll notice an increased ability to forgive our fellow human beings for their mistakes, and to forgive ourselves for our own. Well nourish our spirits with good thoughts, kind words, and service to others.
Just for Today: I will seek to have the burden of resentments removed from my spirit.
I still have some resentments for sure, but I let go of the huge boulder one a couple of years ago. It had to do with my family socializing with my ex wife. It was eating me up. I would fly into rages when i heard about some event that she was invited to. I would try to force my mom, and brother not to see her but it didn't work. It came to boiling point when my brother, actually my sister in law, but he went along, had a dinner that my ex was invited to along with her boyfriend, who happens to be the same guy she was seeing while we were still married. Wow, did I blow up. It was killing me. I was actually getting ill over it. So I looked inside and saw the poison eating me alive and decided that for my own sake I had to let it go. It really surprised me how easy it was. I guess it was either release the resentments or get an ulcer. Anyway, I felt the weight of world leave my shoulders, and I've been so much better off.
