Hi Tisa! before I sponsor anyone I sit down with them,and discuss how I basically sponsor people in general(its like an interview kind of)I try to determine our mutual expectations.We should have ground rules that both parties are aware of if this relationship is going to be recovery based.I talk of confidentiality,only discusing our issues with my sponsor if agreed by sponcee if I believe I need input.Mutualhonesty is a must.Committment to working steps is a must because that is our primary purpose as sponsors.That agreement is made before I agree to sponsor the person.Expectations of meeting attendence and whatever your ground rulesmay be.Availabilty very important,frequency of contact,when and method to call(if ready to pick up call anytime day or night,otherwise,messaging ,couple different numbers etc.Ground rules here also ,that helps both sponsor and sponcee.Believe it or not I also discuss spiritual aspect of prgram.I let my sponcee know the degree of my spiritual emphsis I use as I approach the program .I f my approach to the God of my understanding is no God at all I also let them be aware of that.I also make very clear that they are free to change sponsors whenever they want.Know your sponcee well enough to see things coming,missing meetings,hanging with old friends,visiting places shouldnt be ..not working steps,isolating etc.. so a couple things to pray about(or how you do it) if you are thinking termination ,,if it is jeopardizing your own recovery,refusal to follow guidelines established beforesponsorship agreed upon,not working steps at all,honesty with you is not happening,whenever you feel relationship not in best interests for your sponcee.Termination is a serious issue and should be dealt with face to face explaining why the relationship is not working.This is opportunity to model honest responsible behavior.Sponsorship is a privilege you extended and you have a right to withdraw it however you owe it to your sponsee to explain clearly why you are terminating relationship.This is an opportunity to have sponcee maybe learn from in approprite behavior and another chance for growth and a time for you to also grow.This is stuff I do that helps prevent resentments later on because things are clearly outlined upfront.Sometimes we also make mistakes with our sponcees and if we do 'step 10 works well here...didnt mean to be so wound up but this is a serious relationship for both sponsor and sponcee and the more clarity early can help recovery for both and make relationship a recovery based journey.for both.....Forrest Gump would say "thats all I have to say about that"!!!
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
Hey Vinnie! I agree,no one gave up on me although relapse was not part of my story.I believe a relapsed addict needs to get to a meeting as quickly as possible,welcomed back to fellowship,started immediately on first step,reestablish 90/90 ,calls daily to "sponsor" and helped to learn from relapse.But saying that I also believe some relations(one addict helping another work better than others and 'new sponsorship may be the answer.I do firmly believe that although we are not responsible for anyone elses recovery as a sponsor we should know the "triggers and signs of our sponcees road to relapse and maybe reach out before it gets to relapse although if person wants to go out nothing we can do to stop unless ask them to share their'burning desire" and bring them for coffee and communication before drugs..Sponsorship has many facets to it bottom line for me is though"one addict helping another is without parallel even if Im not that particular addict.I see many broken relationships between sponsor/sponcees here in my area and I believe that early communication between two people make it a better relationship although not always..Have a blesed and productive day,good to see ya!!
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
