After being clean for one year it's a whole new life and feeling. After a love/hate relationship with my mother for most of my life we are just recently getting close. It's such a different feeling. And now I sit next to my son whom I havent seen in 17 years. It's like getting to know him all over again. I am a little afraid and yet I am very happy at the same time. My life is changing at a high rate and most of us addicts are afraid of change including myself. Yet at the same time I am enjoying something different. Something that I have never experienced. I remember when I was a young girl my dad taught me how to swim. He threw me into the water and said swim or drown. I swam. As afraid as I was I still embraced the change. I learned how to swim and now it comes to me easily. I am learning how to embrace change and learn how to love again. It is the rewards of my sobriety and that is one thing that I will hold on to for dear life. I love my life now and I want to learn more. I am not as stuborn as I was. I am trying to be humble and realize my way was getting me no where. Now I call my mom when I need advice. It's a good feeling to have my family back. What the devil took from me God is giving back to me even greater.
I'm very glad that you have your family back. I know that when I lost the love and respect of my family it was the most devastating blow. It has taken a long time...years, but I too have regained the love and trust of my children. It is a joy indeed.
Thanks for sharing that Rosyred3,didn't look so shiny 26 years ago for me,and believe me 'life on life's terms happening everyday continues to ensure we are diligent enough to keep doing the work,always remembering though,,,With God 'ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE"!
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
Sorry I havent replied in a while. I have been having real problems with my son. He is very angry with me because I havent been there for him in the past. Even though I asked for his forgiveness he is still mad. He is cussing at me and not wanting to nothing but smoke pot and play his guitar. He doesnt even look for work at all. He doesnt think he owes me nothing is what he told Grandma. I am hurt and stressed and confused. Yet I am still clean and by next week will be one year clean. Yes I am happy about that and I have decided to ignore him and get back to my program. I need to be selfish right now and continue to work on my sobriety. How can I help him when I cant even get grips with myself at the moment. I really need advice. Please help.
