did the 4th with my sponsor moving on now. Whats the EXACT NATURE OF OUR WRONGS.
Im not real sure what this means and i have read both the AA NA 12x12 and the big book AA and NA book and still not positive about what this is asking for, I think I know but whats your take on this step ???
i have read both the AA NA 12x12 and the big book AA and NA book
I wonder if this doesn't add to the confusion. I hear people talk all the time about how all 12 step programs are the same. It's easy to see why once you realize that the steps are worded very similar, But I find the approaches to be very different. Maybe if you surrendered completely to one fellowship and followed their way exclusively you would find clarity. I hope you get the spiritual awakening you seek.
Hey Vin! my understanding is it the attention we need to focus on "whats behind the patterns of addiction and the reasons we acted the way we did.For me one of the things i had to look at was I always said I had a great childhood but when I looked at the 'exact nature ' of what was causing me to act out(many years later) I believe ,for me ,it was because I blamed my mother because she was a closet drunk and a runaround and my father though a detective on the police force and a county court clerk and also a "chronic gambler " tied to the mob and lived a double life..I acted out in 'unconscious rebellion./this issue is highly discussed in our fellowship.This really did happen for me while actually dumping my years of inventory!!!repition of the same type of behavior or situation can bring you realiztion of why we keep doing the same things.Feel the presence of God while finding out whats going on Vin.i'LL KEEP YOU IN MY PRAYERS.Free you mind and you a-- will follow,from an old ALBUM 'funkadelic" with Geoge Clinton 1970's produced while 'tripping their brains off:,,,,...(if my memory is correct?) peace my friend 'KEEP ON WORKING" IT IS THE SOLUTION
-- Edited by MIKEF on Tuesday 12th of January 2010 09:47:24 AM
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
What it means to me is the intent and motivation behind that behavior. While in active addiction I was not subconsciously aware of the real intent of my actions. While working this step I discovered hidden motives for these behaviors. Even today I will make a point to take an inventory to determine if my intent is what it should be. No matter the situation, it's important for me to know and understand my motivations before proceeding with anything. If I find my motives to be manipulative or selfish then I will not act. Keep on working the steps and you will find things fall into place.
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"No one is immune from addiction; it afflicts people of all ages, races, classes, and professions". Patrick Kennedy
i took the angle of what the character defect is behind the wrong.
the nature of a tiger is to be stealthy, fast, powerful.
the nature the wrong where i stole money from a company i worked for? I was a liar, sneaky, broke trust, stole from my boss, placed blame on others, cooked the books to hide my embezzlement, etc.
I have a clean understanding now what will take place thanks evryone for the support.
I woke up early this morning around 430 full of fear and distress i bald my eyes out till snot ran out my nose LOL , thinking things over from a talk me and my sister had yesterday she gave me some ideas of what her nature was and its all about the same stuff as me, the bottom line but i need to go over all of it with my sponsor and we'll discover more. I have requested we do it immediately. I'll let you guys know how it went.
Today I got some very distressing news from my ex she decided to have sex with her old buddy she was seeing before we met and as her story goes things may have gone bad with a trojan and she's very worried. Of course it could all be a way for her to make me jealous and stay away or to hurt me, whatever her reason i held it together and told her i hoped for the best even offered to come over and check to see if the latex was stuck up inside of her ( part of it has come up missing yeah I know to much information how do you think i feel ? ) WHAT A GUY HUH LOL, I NEED TO STAY AWAY FROM THAT LADY that much is sure and i will.
Anyhow today lots of prayers, stay calm, no rash decisions I hadn't eaten all day until just a bit ago I have been just sick emotionally, i am very stressed its been a rough 4-5 months of almost constant stress and pressure working this program but im sure the results will be worth the work it takes i do not want to go back out over ANYTHING life throughs at me its time to mature and grow up and discover and discard..
I have a clean understanding now what will take place thanks evryone for the support.
I woke up early this morning around 430 full of fear and distress i bald my eyes out till snot ran out my nose LOL , thinking things over from a talk me and my sister had yesterday she gave me some ideas of what her nature was and its all about the same stuff as me, the bottom line but i need to go over all of it with my sponsor and we'll discover more. I have requested we do it immediately. I'll let you guys know how it went.
Today I got some very distressing news from my ex she decided to have sex with her old buddy she was seeing before we met and as her story goes things may have gone bad with a trojan and she's very worried. Of course it could all be a way for her to make me jealous and stay away or to hurt me, whatever her reason i held it together and told her i hoped for the best even offered to come over and check to see if the latex was stuck up inside of her ( part of it has come up missing yeah I know to much information how do you think i feel ? ) WHAT A GUY HUH LOL, I NEED TO STAY AWAY FROM THAT LADY that much is sure and i will.
Anyhow today lots of prayers, stay calm, no rash decisions I hadn't eaten all day until just a bit ago I have been just sick emotionally, i am very stressed its been a rough 4-5 months of almost constant stress and pressure working this program but im sure the results will be worth the work it takes i do not want to go back out over ANYTHING life throughs at me its time to mature and grow up and discover and discard..
Yeah, a little TMI with this one but we understand. You had a need to express what you are feeling. A tough situation and I think it is best that you work through this right away too. Stick with the program, your sponsor, and working the steps. It does take time and it works if you work it! Don't give up and you come back and rant, vent and provide us with all the TMI you need to. Thanks for sharing! Keep us posted on your progress.
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"No one is immune from addiction; it afflicts people of all ages, races, classes, and professions". Patrick Kennedy
i took the angle of what the character defect is behind the wrong.
the nature of a tiger is to be stealthy, fast, powerful.
the nature the wrong where i stole money from a company i worked for? I was a liar, sneaky, broke trust, stole from my boss, placed blame on others, cooked the books to hide my embezzlement, etc.
great question!
Been there, done that decided against the T-shirt. No good for publicity.
Instead of admitting to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of my wrongs, I admitted to the world at large the exact nature of everyone else's wrongs.
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"No one is immune from addiction; it afflicts people of all ages, races, classes, and professions". Patrick Kennedy
I was more descrete in the meetings I went to yesterday but not much I had to get it off my chest where she layed that shit. She's drinking and getting drunk or was while her son was away at his fathers every day dealing with our troubles thats how she's handling this, shes gone back to what she was doing when i met her smoking pot too so thats HER solution which is a far far cry from mine.
I'm carrying around too much blame and guilt for my wrongs and more then a few guys have told me MOVE ON leave the wreckage and make amends later but its so damned hard to do.
I took someone on a date a few nights back just for coffee and its not going any further , I had a real nice time with the gal but I shared to much with her LOL not about Jenn but about my worldly history, funny thing is she wanted an HONEST guy got one and couldn't handle it HAH, oh well no big she wasn't quite my type either and we did have a nice date and i haven't lost confidence in being able to amuse a woman with my quik wit and puhzazz
Left a message with my sponsor at noon today and never heard word back gonna find out why in the hell he doesnt return my calls sometimes and i think its time to take my temp sponsor on full time.
re: 5th step work, here's another one from another fellowship "Admitted to our Higher Power, to ourselves, and to another human being, the exact nature of our liabilities and our assets."
The intent here, I think, is to recognize addiction as a no-fault disease that drives us to bad acts (liabilities vs wrongs) and, even while taking responsibility for our liabilities, judging ourselves, also acknowledging that we are not one-dimensional "victims" of addiction...that even in the depths of the disease, and certainly within the recovery process, we also have inate and unique human qualities (our assets) that are good and healthy and worthy of mentioning. I like the balance built into this version, tho I did a traditional 5th step, and enjoyed immediate respite from pain coupled with hopefullness and the freedom to move on.
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From dying and surviving to living and thriving. LeeU
You had a need to express what you are feeling. A tough situation and I think it is best that you work through this right away too. Stick with the program, your sponsor, and working the steps. It does take time and it works if you work it! Don't give up and you come back and rant, vent and provide us with all the TMI you need to. Thanks for sharing! Keep us posted on your progress.
