Parole makes me come here, but human miracles keep me WANTING to come here. Anymore, it's hard to find non-addicts; my nephew is a budding addict and it's SOO painful to choose to not be around him. I can adopt a nephew here. I just realized that this is new, my desire to be around sober people. I want to 12 step my nephew but I think the only hope there is to be a living testimony that there is something beyond the high. Is preferring sober people a good sign after over 20 years in the program? Seems new to me and I need a reality check.
Annie
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I think people are full of guile.....I enjoy that.
Hi Anne, my name is Raman and I am an addict. Thanks for sharing what is really going on in your life !
I am in a similar predicament, if I got you right.
Being in recovery for 22 years in complete an continous abstinence, I realized that the only way to stay in recovery and sustain growth was to walk the 12 Step way !
Over a period of time, my mind has cleared itself of old greedy, hateful attitudes . Ive become unselfish to quite a large extent. I have Serenity too, most of the time.
Now while thas kept me clean and serene, I am challenged very much by my interactions with very new members and many outside of NA who I have to do business or play music with or interact with on a social level.
One day, few years ago, I was agonizing over certain feelings Id get when moving with non-NA people. I inventoried, Prayed and Mediated and had input from informed members.
I came to a realization that Ive been rejected by society in the past because of my irresponsible and addictive using, and the same damned society now rejects me because I dont use with them anymore.
The ironic humour is that they seem to think, and have clearly said so o many occassions, that they find me strange because Im abstinent. Seems like in their eyes, I am an irresponsible and unproductive member of society because Im clean and serene.
My sponsor did say that as we gow spiritually we will need to jettison those things and people that were in our lives in the past and move on to new circles and friendships and relationships. I need to let go of what has served its purpose.
What is valid in one phase of recovery, may not be so for another (Basic Text).
Therefore I had to, and still do, let go of flase character as it is exactly that which keeps me in distress, anger and other defects, thereby keeping me irritable, restless and discontented.
I do still believe that the prolonged writig of he 4th Step was my turning point !
GOMU (God of my/your understanding ) keep you Blessed,, Love and regards and hugs from an empathising addict !!!
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
Welcome Anne, glad you found us. I myself stayed clean for over 25 years by doing just that.When I surrenedered in 1984 after 25 years of drug use I didnt know people who were still alive that didnt use.I had an early sponsor but he died A YEAR LATER was in his mid 70's when we hooked up) I gravitated toward a "church' group spent over 10 years in "bible study,with men that were accountability partners,then found a martial arts group where I studied an attained a blacK belt IN tAE kWON dO,next was a running community that I trained for and ran many marathons and competitive races,next hunting which becAme a serene way for me to sit in a tree .pray and meditate and put food in my freezer for a year at a time and then also give to my community,another group of gamblers to keep me 'STRUGGLING WITH MY CHARACTER DEFECTS ,EVEN NOW i WORK ON THAT AREA OF MY LIFE. I also am a musician that has played in and out of different bands since I was a young boy of 12.another "group' of people....Another fellowship for co-dependancy for me as my 23 year old son is a 'HEROIN ADDICT, who is now in recovery process and finally my Narcotics Anonymous family which is the Group OF people that God finally allowed me settle with I walk as close to Him as humanely possible and also work and try to give back to the still sick and suffering by applying the the spiritual principles of the program along with my faith beliefs.This sounds like a lot of 'ME,ME ,ME STUFF BIT ITS REALLY HOW i HAD O DO IT TO STAY CLEAN.People ,that were not using,became my new associations although as an addict there is really only one group for me that I can totally identify with and they with me.Narcotics Anonymous.God is my main sponsor but he gave me helpers also cause Im a "hardhead"..thanks for sharing,didnt mean to ramble on but needed to share that .peace MIKEF
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
Thank both of you guys; this can be a lonely journey but worth it....I can't help but get tired of laying with dogs and getting fleas...I have a point where I get mad at my nephew because he KNOWS better. Thankfully he removes himself from me as well as me telling him I simply cannot be around that shit anymore, ya know? Thank god for my new family.
Peace, Annie
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I think people are full of guile.....I enjoy that.
Sorry to hear that you are faced with this dilemma. Been there and done that as I am sure we all have. If you want to stay clean you can't have those who don't in your life. No matter how much you love and care for them you must detach with love. I suggest praying to your higher power for guidance in this situation. You know you can't change your nephew but you can send him love and pray for him to seek recovery. Miracles do happen and we are proof of that.
Keep us posted on how it's going.
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"No one is immune from addiction; it afflicts people of all ages, races, classes, and professions". Patrick Kennedy
I had and still have this same problem with same playgrounds and playmates affecting my sobriety. But I have found its all up to me, who I stay with, who I hang out with. If someone is using and takes offense at your sobriety. They probably were not your good friends or any friends you need to be hanging around. Some of my user friends, know I am in sobriety, and they don't push their habits on me, but I am one step closer to using when I go visit them because they have my drug. You can't be an island but you have to be careful
I doubt it will get any easier, turning my nephew away. Maybe I can counteract the pain better with a healthy dose of talking to all of you in recovery, at least to distract me from the sadness. NA rocks!!!
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I think people are full of guile.....I enjoy that.
Hey Nikky! Do you have any Naranon or CODA groups around your area? Besides Narcotics Anonymous I am also an active member of Naranon ,a program for people with a problem of drugs in friends or relatives(23 yr old son heroin addict).I t gives you heads up on enabling behaviors,tools you learn to "detach with love" from your addict and people you can share your feelings with and also do step work in the program(12 step process). ,you can blog the site and see where they meet,we actually have a NA convention with a Naranon group meeting in the middle of the day in cooperation not affiliation with the convention.Similar to AL=anon except geared more toward illegal drug use rather than alcohol although any drug use is addressed...peace
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
Mike, thanks for the hookup; I'll check it out. There are some old farts in AA down the road from me, most with big-time sobriety and they kinda look down on drug addicts in the group (which is unfortunately true with lots of old-timers/purists). I'd love to find an NA group; I'll check it out. Thanks.
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I think people are full of guile.....I enjoy that.
