honestly - i'm not a big fan of the holidays. it's the playing field for this damn disease to tell me how much of a fuck-up i am, how bad i am, how worthless i am. i see the outsides of others, their 'perfect' families, houses, and lives and make a comparison to my own. we all know how those comparisons wind up. i'm worthless - you're perfect... or vice versa. haha
in recovery, i've spent thanksgivings alone (physically) and surrounded by family (and sometimes alone, figuratively)
this thanksgiving, i'll be with the new girlfriend in the morning for a charity run, then to my house where the kids and new granddaughter will join us in the afternoon. not a single drug to be found - anywhere. my how life has changed! this day used to be one of those where i had 'license' to get really good and loaded.
i'm thankful to be free from the chains of active addiction! i'm grateful to be a positive influence in the lives of my kids and able to contribute to society by participating in a healthy event that benefits others. (service)
RIGHT ON STEVE GLAD YOUR LIFES CHANGED, oops sorry bout the caps dont feel like retyping that lol.
Yeah I hear a lot of the newer people really tripping on holidays and i forget how much a stresser it can be and it used to be a big deal for me too now its all about EATING LOL.
So just enjoy what you have and think happy grateful thoughts
Hi Steve, Im not intimated by the hols anymore. In fact, theres extra income to be made with my saxophone. Ive been out whole day firat at the hospital and then had to be very patient to get the letters I need to carry back with me to India. Then i saw a lot of shopping, everybody seems to be doing that here now,,stacking up for Christmas. I was regretful that I missed Christmas Lights switching on Sunday, so went to that area today anyways.
Many of us NA members were supposed to meet at 5 for Italian food, then do the NA meeting and I wanted to sign off with a sponsee here. All thats come to naught because the guy that initiated the Italian dinner, R, whose 22nd anniversary it was on Monday this week, is suffering from flu. So its off.
Ive already said my goodbyes in that meeting, so Im not really into going there just for meetings sake. There is also the possiblity of a very cold nitght and it seems better to go home, and cook myself a meal, sit in idleness for sometime, Meditate a bit and get redy for tommorow and the last of the packing.
Those are my decisions at this time,,,5.30 pm.
However, this addict can suddenly change his mind, with the emergence of some new inspiration.
-- Edited by Raman on Thursday 26th of November 2009 12:49:31 PM
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
Well i am off to spend the day with family will get to see my little niece who I have missed seeing I hope everyone of you have a great day of it with family and if you cant be with them this year or you miss someone in your life just find something to be grateful for , like times past or times ahead or someone near you who might need someone to help them get through the day but find something good, it's there dont be down hold it up.
God Bless you all, stay clean stay in the miracle that this program brings if you let it.
the special lady friend and i chose not to do the charity run in the morning, as my car got broken into at work the evening before, and i had no drivers window. :( we did for for a nice 10km run by my house, though. :)
dinner was great. time with the kids was great. no insanity. no unmanageability. lots of love and gratitude.
still - after a number of 365's, i just don't much care for these holidays. one more to go! hahaha
