"We never have to use again, no matter how we feel. All feelings will eventually pass."
Basic Text p. 79
It hurts like never before. You get out of bed after a sleepless night, talk to God, and still don't feel any better. "It will pass;' a little voice tells you. "When?" you wonder, as you pace and mutter and get on with your day.
You sob in your car and turn the radio all the way up so you can't hear your own thoughts. But you go straight to work, and don't even think about using drugs.
Your insides feel as though they've been torched. Just when the pain becomes unbearable, you go numb and silent. You go to a meeting and wish you were as happy as other members seem to be. But you don't relapse.
You cry some more and call your sponsor. You drive to a friend's house and don't even notice the beautiful scenery because your inner landscape is so bleak. You may not feel any better after visiting your friend-but at least you didn't visit the connection instead.
You listen to a Fifth Step. You share at a meeting. You look at the calendar and realize you've gotten through another day clean.
Then one day you wake up, look outside, and realize it's a beautiful day. The sun is shining. The sky is blue. You take a deep breath, smile again, and know that it really does pass.
Just for Today: No matter how I feel today, I'll go on with my recovery.
4 am in the morning and i get up my breathing is difficult so i step out of my bed go out on the o=porch to get some fresh air , yeah i take a few tokes off a cigarette like a dumby and realize i'm feeling pretty bad inside. I come in and decide to read the just for today see if i'm there YEP sure nuff it describes how I am feeling to the teeth.
And this too shall pass so many like this but the days inbetween that are good are what make it worth not using over, this is it for me at least i know i'm oin the right place LOL
hEY Vin! yup im less inclined to believe in coincidences and and more in tune with our HP giving us just what we need.Dont it trip you out when them little diddies keep popping up all around you each day.I stop and chuckle to myself and say'alright I got the message lets see what I do with it!! Have a blessed day..................peace
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
indeed it is Raman, well put there. Today I may be tired and exhausted as there seems to come lot of pain my way or at least I would like to imagine so, yet as the BT says 'a dynamic force within' pegs me on to face it all, with courage and a little curiosity as to what my Higher Power's upto in my life, for my benefit... perhaps these are the greatest times of growth as our BT claims
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
