I didn't just wake up; I was awoken by the sickness. Laying there, broke, desperate; withdrawls setting in. My mind starts racing as I try and figure out my caper of the day, not even aware, or not even caring, that one decision can alter my life forever. So I drag my bum ass out of the house and begin the daily ritual. Just $10....thats all I need to get well. But that is never enough, because I want....no, need more; always one more. Thats how I justify all the crazy shit that I do. It sucks being forced to do these things; but I have no choice. I am addicted...and there is no way out. Death doesn't seem like such a bad thing. Time to take a break.....cant walk that far just yet. And as I am sitting there, I watch the cars go by.....just people; average, normal people, going to work. And I cannot figure out how they do it.....
Its been a few 24 hours since that was my life. But I do not forget. That stuff keeps me clean. And my life is good now. So if anybody is struggling or wondering what will happen...... know it is possible. Change can happen, as long as you put forth some effort
Thanks vanleer,this is something we should never forget no matter how far away we get from active using,one bad decision could bring us right back to the block...........
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.