HI FAMILY...I CELEBRATE 1 YEAR CLEAN NEXT WEEK...AMAZING...SO MUCH HAS CHANGED, I WAS READING BACK TO THE FIRST POSTS I PUT UP HERE DURING MY 1ST FEW DAYS AND WEEKS OF RECOVERY...WOW...EVEN BEFORE I STARTED ATENDING REAL LIVE MEETINGS AND ALL... WELL SINCE THEN, LETS SEE....MY MAN AND I ARE STILL TOGETHER-HE IS NOT AN ADDICT-A TRULY AMAZING LOVING PERSON I AM SO BLESSED I AM WORKING AS A WAITRESS, STILL AWAITNG THE NURSING BOARDS REINSTATEMENT OF MY LICENSE, SHOULD BE ANY MINUTE NOW!!!!!! GREATFUL FOR SO MUCH EVEN THE RECOVERY PROGRAM FOR NURSES...DAILY CALL-INS/URINE DRUG SCREENIND RANDOMLY, WEEKLY PEER SUPPORT, MINUMUM 3 MEETINGS A WEEK...GOT A GREAT RECOVERY DOG MY BELOVED PERCY! HMMM, MY DAD DIED, HAD 3 FIRES IN THE FAMILY, A NEW GRANDSON, MOVED BACK TO NJ WHERE IM ORIGIANLLY FROM,GAVE UP BIG OLD HOUSE, LIVING W/MY 78 YEAR OLD MOTHER FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 27 YEARS....OLDEST DAUGHTER CAME HOME FROM VT, THEN WENT TO A RECOVERY HOUSE 5 HOURS AWAY AFTER 2 MONTHS WITH ME...I INTRO'D HER TO NA AND IOP...NOW SHE IS BEING EVAL'D IN THE PYSCH WARD FOR CUTTING HERSELF(AGAIN)...OLDEST CHILD, MY SON IS IN JAIL FOR DRUG-RELATED CRAP, AM ON SPEAKING TERMS WITH THEIR FATHER WHO IS ALSO AN ADDICT ON METHADONE MAINTENCE-HE DOESNT DO MEETINGS BUT AT LEAST WE CAN TALK TO EACH OTHER NOW FOR OUR KIDS SAKE-AM TAKING MY 5-YR OLD DAUGHTER'S FATHER TO COURT SINCE I LOST PRIMARY CUSTODY-GOT A NEW LAWYER AND I REFUSE TO LET HIM GET AWAY WITH THE SHIT HE DOES-NOT AN ADDICT BUT AN ASSHOLE-WE NEED TO COPARENT WHETHER HE LIKES IT OR NOT! LETS SEE, OH, MY FIRST AND ONLY SPONSOR SO FAR JUST RELAPSED AFTER 5 1/2 YRS CLEAN SO SHE HAD TO DROP ME AS A SPONSEE, IN THE MIDST OF MY 4TH STEP...GOT A TEMP SPONSOR UP IN THE POCONOS 'TIL I FIND A PERMANENT ONE DOWN HERE...MEETINGS ARE SO BIG DOWN HERE! ANYWAY, I WAS INSPIRED TO GET ON HERE AND E-SHARE AND I HAVE TO SAY THIS PROGRAM IS A MIRACLE IT WORKS I AM IN MUCH BETTER TOUCH WITH MY H.P OBVIUOSLY THRU ALL THE SHIT IN THE PAST YEAR...NEVER ALONE, NEVER AGAIN...GOD PLEASE DO FOR ME WHAT I CANNOT DO FOR MYSELF! PEACE AND BLESSINGS TO ALL...CONTINUE PRAY FOR EACH OTHER I WILL...
-- Edited by justtina on Thursday 22nd of October 2009 08:06:16 PM
__________________
The day was old, the light was dim As I stepped through the door And all my friends were gathering That day that I recall I shivered and shook, Lord I stood Just waiting to chase the fall I wondered how my time would be When spring comes round, once more
In the midst of all this insanity going on in here, i was so blessed to read your post. All the things that have happened and is happenng in your life, and it is n/a all the way and you still feel the gratitude of living clean and serene. Thats just it. For today, I do not have to use. Just for today, I will rely on my higher power to carry me through....Just for today. Thanks for reminding me, even at more than 2 years clean, that no matter what happens, The n/a way and my higher power will give me not only the strength to survive, but also live and love life in my survival..
Today another shot at following the will of my higher power and not the call of the "monster".Good to see some positive stuff.have a blessed and productive day!!!
__________________
Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
