Attitudes

LeeU · Guru

SECOND DELETED POST-1st Dean's "Goodbye", then Mine Asking Why His was Removed

MIKEF · Guru

I AM REALLY UPSET THAT YOU AND dEAN HAVE MOVED ON.i WILL PUT YOU ON MY RECEIPIENTS LIST AND WILL E MAIL YOU.I never saw any e mails except the one from ephossipery and dean on buddhism,and that was mind boggling.I will miss you here and so will many others,newbies especially.I'll send mail from my url at work also peace Lee thanks for your support.

Sarah86 · Member

wow this is ridiculous. he was not promoting AA at all. he was just letting us know where we can find him. im really not happy about this.

BigV · Senior Member

I was going to leave this board once and got talked out of it by several of the members.

I remember some one saying that what I was doing was running and for whatever reason that is exactly what I was doing.

I believe that John the administrator and the person who started this site has our best interest in hand.

I read the emails also we can sit and nit pick this thing to death im sure, take side and if we dont like whats going on just run from the disagreement and abandone a good thing here.

Lee you could have contacted myself or john instead of that other thread.

I saw absolutely nothing wrong with johns letters to Dean but I read them once and will re read them. I have had my say with Dean and made my suggestions to him.

I just dont know these days about all of this and thats why i have backed off and started doing more face to face stuff instead I cant get anyone around here to support this group by doing meetings except for Liz who doesn't even have enough time in to be doing them but I've let her help anyhow.

I am very confused about some of you who I really dont see working some principles of the program here, I mean it's up to each of us how we work a program hell just tonight I had to confront someone and tell them how i was feeling and I got shit onand cut off, so be it if thats how they want to act theres nothing I can do to change them and so be it here, work your program how ever you like you old timers want to run from all of this then go I think your setting a real fucked up example.

LizC · Senior Member

you let me help out? you're the one who asked me to help. if you didnt ask me to help i wouldnt be doing what i can. if i dont have enough time in then why did you ask me? i wont fucking do anything anymore. i covered your ass vini when you couldnt f*ucking do the meetings. see if i ever help this site ever again. its all BULL!

BigV · Senior Member

No Liz you told me you had been doing the meetings and I ALLOWED you and asked you to continue doing them because I wasn't getting any other suuport for but maybe one other person and that was Larry and I told you several times I really apppreciated you helping and I thought it would be good for you to help, so don't get what i sad wrong but it seems lately I dont communicate to well with people and a few are getting there hairs all tangled which is going to make me wnt to back the fuk off from all you people.

Matter of fact I QUIT this board too and all of you

SO THERE

HOW ABOUT THAT

-- Edited by BigV on Friday 23rd of October 2009 01:22:20 AM

-- Edited by BigV on Friday 23rd of October 2009 01:24:47 AM

2ndtimearound · Senior Member

Dear Vini

PLEASE dont leave this board. I know there are so so many newbies who really need to hear from you, as well as Tisa....I wish she would re-consider. This board is not about John(who I know absoulutely NOTHING) about all that mess, or Liz or anybody else. This board is about one addict helping another. I know this will tee her off again , but Liz is a newbie. She has alot of anger issues,and is struggling with na principles. That is not a personal attack on her!! Thats what all of us hear.I hope she takes it as someone who loves and cares ab her,and other new friends I have met! If I were ftf I could hug her as I was stating it and maybe she would see our intentions are not vindictive but because we are all just trying to help her see what may be keeping her sick! Vin, there are but a handful of people on this board I look to see if they have posted and u are one of just 5 or so.I need you. Other addicts need you. wouldnt you please reconsider and just let go of the few people that have made you make this decision.

I would love to help in whatever it is you need for meetings! I just dont know how to get to them? God knows I am on here enough. My posts say im in a relapse, but not on drugs. I do have issues Im struggling with but dont we all.??LOL Im all in if you show me the way..........

Not being ftf causes alot of this conflict in my opinion. If you were ftf maybe Liz wouldnt have taken your post as an attack on her personally. We could have surrounded here with love that she could SEE AND FEEL. But this isnt ftf and we are all here for one reason or another, but all of us are here for the same basic reason.
We need to be heard and we need to have contact with another addict in n/a!!!!

Again, please dont go.... Please dont let a couple people ruin it for the rest of us. You are loved and appreciated. Mike, Tisa, and few others(I apologize to those people Im just drawing blanks on names) are also at the top of my gratitude list....

I dont know if i have said any of this right. Sometimes I can express well and sometimes the feelings i have inside just dont seem to make it to the screen
. Just as in any ftf rooms, people come and go. Some people you may knock heads with, and some people you hit it off with....thats human relations and the nature of na . Just as if this were ftf I beg you not to go because of other na members...The rest of us are still here. We appreciate your posts and input and would miss you tremendously if you left.
Please give it some thought. THANKS!!!

your friend
carol

MIKEF · Guru

Vinnie!
Hey man,just like our yearly celebrations,this is not about us but for the newcomer.I also am a newbie to this site but not to recovery.Like Carol said,lets try and continue to 'work" the message of hope here.IM not that sharp on computers,the LOL language and all that but I am willing to help in anyway possible to get "us" back to supporting each other and being here as another place to "get help" besides our face to face stuff.call me if I can help .I'll put my number on your whiteboard.I always act too quickly ,give it a day,pray about it and see whats up.peace man....."stick and stay!!we'll make it.......

BigV · Senior Member

Im not leaving i dont do that shit anymore I got sarcasm and trying to keep levity in this by joking around but i am very angry and frustrated with this whole thing and my feelings are other people shouldn't be up and packing there bags and running off to hide from it Dean needs to get his ass back here and i told him that so does Lee, you are the wise elders here, wise beyond years so full of clean time it makes me f'n sick LOL so show us what the F u got to use in a situation like this is it just the old fight or flight ? or you gonna work some program here and show us how its done ?

The pressure is on you I dont care if you dont like it we have to face life on it's terms or else...........you decide.

Carol and Mike thank you for the shares any way this goes its gonna be ok I am starting to learn I have GOT to let people do what there going to do and NOT let that effect my life my attitude and I have got to watch how i react when things dont go Big vinis way LOL cuzz I am an absolute control Frrrrrrrrreak and bottom line is if I am trying to control and its not wanting to be controlled , welp we got trouble I get violent I get loud and I want to fight and I am sick and F'n tired of my life going that way lately, quite alot i might add. I am sick n tired of fight every one and every thing and now I surrender, i'm turning it all over to my higher power and stepping back a few inch's to see how every one else reacts, if you all want to go well go be my guest you will be missed and its our loss but its also your loss because your supposed to be here helping other addicts more then yourself, the idea is to give it the F away in order to keep it and i think we forget that sometimes cuzz were so damn selfish and self centered.

Than kyou very much ! hang in there every body

BigV · Senior Member

Acceptance is the Answer

"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation - some fact of my life - unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake.

Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes."

Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 449,417 4th Edition

MIKEF · Guru

Yo BigV ,way to go.we need "all" our soldiers ' in this war.I know "for me" I got to step back and look at things,let this grey matter roll it around before I make decisions.Man seems like such a simple concept huh! surrender,,we can say it but we got to "do it"!!I pick my butt up,dust myself off and move along......can't let no one "steal my joy!!And then next day im whining about this or that,but you know what thats why OUR process tells us 'ONE ADDICT HELPING ANOTHER IS WITHOUT PARALELL! We'll make it!!!

2ndtimearound · Senior Member

Oh Big Vin see thats exactly why I begged you to stay I laughed so:" F'n " Hard at the loud and in your face way you ended your post. Right on the money I might add . Get out of yourselves people ....we all want you here!

May God lead us all to where we belong.

Vin, please let me know what I can do for you on my whiteboard ok?

with love and friendship to all. you too LIZ!
Carol

2ndtimearound · Senior Member

"thats why OUR process tells us 'ONE ADDICT HELPING ANOTHER IS WITHOUT PARALELL! We'll make it!!!smile"

AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wink

cdbuckberry · Guru

I think it is awful that anyone leaves this site over what somone said,We are here for recovery ,if its AA or NA,They both use 12 Steps and 12 Traditions,it does not matter which one you attend only that it helps you.If you want to post I can be found on such and such a website that is your business . No one deserves to judge someone like that.We are all Addicts or Alcoholics looking to share our recovery. The who judged needs to look at there own recovery.

dan h · Senior Member

God save us from addicts who "hove our best interests at hand"....
So Dean gets a post deleted for "promoting AA" on this NA Message Board by posting where he could be found, but it's ok for Vini to post Quotes from the AA Big Book? Gimme a break!

-- Edited by dan h on Tuesday 27th of October 2009 07:54:33 AM

Tahir · Member

hehe... good to see that we are all still human

Love you all guys, and please don't leave, there might come a suffering addict/newcomer whose life might be saved just because of your presence, just because of who you are as you are...

I've come too close to leaving before I have to admit, but then I decided to stay, with an understanding that just like I tend to be sicker at times in my recovery, others might also be a bit sick and might not always be sane or spiritual enough to make me feel good. I know that sometimes I need others' acceptance, forgiveness and compassion, and at times, others might need it from me... I've come to learn that when other members are not able to be nice and act/behave/treat me rudely with me, it's not actually about me, that they are suffering... I know this because when I myself am arrogant with others, I know that there's something terribly wrong within me, that I'm not okay with it, but I don't want to look into what it could be. That's when I try to focus on others, find fault with them, judge them harshly and expose them to my defects. This way I fall back to my addictive pattern of "trying to feel good about self by putting down another", and it's a great suffering, just like trying to fix my despair by using drugs. Today it could be people, others in the fellowship! And today, I realize that although it hurts at times that others could do that to you, I do not have to necessarily get angry on them just like I would not get angry with someone because he or she has used. So instead of reacting to the suffering addicts among us, I can choose to respond as I would respond to another's suffering... Today I write all this because I feel a bit sane, tomorrow I could be the one who is abusing another, just because I might be more sicker mentally and emotionally on any given day... and being an addict, it can happen...

MIKEF · Guru

Hey Tahir! as they say in England"spot on!!! (saw that on TV!!!
YES WE NEED TO BE HERE FOR EACH OTHER RAIN OR SHINE!! some days rain ,some days shine like you said.hope you are well good heArin from yA! MIKE

-- Edited by MIKEF on Wednesday 28th of October 2009 09:48:55 AM

BigV · Senior Member

AA is the father or our group NA is basically the same exact program other then some changes in the story lines and a more updated version IMO. For me NA seemed to be more explanatory .I go to both also matter of fact been going to AA more lately since the groups are larger for men's meetings.

IF your reacting to outside situations and people its time to take an inventory on your own stuff in other words an attitude check, i'll just post the just for today right here,

October 28, 2009

Attitudes

Page 314

"We can also use the steps to improve our attitudes."

Basic Text, p.53

Ever have a day when everything seems to be working against you? Do you go through periods when you are so busy taking people's inventories you can barely stand yourself? What about when you find yourself snapping at your co-worker or loved one for no reason? When we find ourselves in this bleak frame of mind, we need to take action.

At any point in the day, we can set aside a few moments and take a "spot inventory:' We examine how we are reacting to outside situations and other people. When we do, we may find that we are suffering from a plain old "bad attitude:' A negative outlook can hurt our relationship with our Higher Power and the people in our lives. When we are honest with ourselves, we frequently find that the problem lies with us and our attitude.

We have no control over the challenges life gives us. What we can control is how we react to those challenges. At any point in time, we can change our attitude. The only thing that really changes in Narcotics Anonymous is us. The Twelve Steps give use the tools to move out of the problem and into the solution.

Just for Today: Throughout the day, I will check my attitude. I will apply the steps to improve it.

of course these are all suggestions, one other thing we're supposed to be having others best interest at heart, serving others and helping them whether they have 1 hour or 24 years clean if we see someone suffering we help and guess what a lot of times people will push your hand away, others will ask who do you think you are ? some may criticize but i honestly believe johns intentions was in some way to help Dean if you want to take it personal thats your problem, if you want to join a group and and start a fight or run from the situation thats your problem, everyone needs to take there own inventory and find where you might be at fault and work on that.

Tahir · Member

I like this one from our literature that humbles me into finding my true inner space - "when we admit that our lives are unmanageable, we do not have to argue our viewpoint."

Step One gives me the much needed permission to relieve myself from having to convince another or prove another wrong... it's another matter altogether that I'm not always able to practice this... lol...

Raman · Guru

One of the above posts seems to be dedicated to trying to make sense of situations where one is not given importance, courtesy etc.

I have become critical of those shares that explain away others actions, ignoring the old adage that when I am disturbed, there si something the matter with my position, and my first priority is to stop that !

And, in refering to another post, I belive it is appropriate to keep Narcotics Anonymous spaces dedicated to the NA message. That is the least that a recovering or suffering addict can ask for.

And in fact, using the yardstick thatseems to be the dominant theme here, Id say from experience of pain and suffering that they do not allow NA shares in AA, so why sould AA ideology be allowed in this NA Forum ?

gettingbackup · Veteran Member

oops, tried to leave some funny smilies. didnt work. now im trying to delete them.

-- Edited by gettingbackup on Thursday 29th of October 2009 11:59:24 AM

-- Edited by gettingbackup on Thursday 29th of October 2009 12:00:36 PM

BigV · Senior Member

Actually raman I have been in meetings and just recently where the AA members do recognize people who have other addicitons and there OK with it, its a new men's stag meeting I will be attending and I like the idea of tolerance for the alcoholic to be able to share about other addictions other then alcohol.

A drug is a drug .

tahir i read that quote the other day and its absolutely RIGHT on the mark but i can damn sure ignore that in a quick second to start up a fight LOL

2ndtimearound · Senior Member

OMG you guys are too funny.....and we are all just sick sick sick. Hey lets all just remember that! lol
Before coming in here, I was always told I can go to either meeting. I live in a city now, but when I started out I was out in the middle of nowhere. I had very little to choose from, and was welcome in either place. I always felt more comfortable in the NA rooms of course, but I never saw it as its us against them.

I still dont. I do however understand that the boards have to have certain rules in order to run smoothly. This one I personally think is stupid. but hey, thats just me

Welcome to the Miracles In Progress Group of Narcotics Anonymous! This is not an official NA site, nor is it endorsed by the NA World Service Office.

Acceptance is the Answer

October 28, 2009

Attitudes