hey everyone.... everything in my life is going really well... I'm coping well in school and doing alright...... I got engaged :) to my best friend and I'm approaching my 2 year mark clean in this program...... but I've noticed that my resentments are building and I don't want to go to meetings, and if I do go I fight myself the whole time not to leave...... I was just wondering if anyone has some experience with this notion.... thanks
andrea
__________________
people who mind don't matter, and people who matter don't mind- Dr. Seuss
Hey drugfree,mikef here! glad things are going well for you,.thats a blessing.I know for me,from recovery and relapse in our literature it says that complacency can be the biggest enemy of those with substantial clean time. kinda like'yeah I got this,stop using my discerment and getting squirrely when I hear that "same" tired story' that "whats his name is sharing"rather than focusing in on "that may be what "they' need to do..I move around a little when I get into that groove.I have a saturday mens group exclusively and meetings thruout the week that i can drop in beside my Monday night homegroup.We put on ;SPEAKER JAMS every 3 months or from My Mens group, which allows me to get some service work in.I still am coffee maker for my home group and work close with friends(addicts) from a program my agency I work at supports.We are human,we get bored,we get resentful.tired of dealing with it,but thats why we "keep coming back. literature also says "if we get complacent for too long,the recovery process ceases."This is just my bag but hopefully you can work thru 'your funk"definitely congrats on 2 years and your engagement.Let us know how your doing.peace mike
__________________
Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
I feel the same way half the time. Everything is going good and I feel like I don't need the program or the meetings anymore then something happens and all hell breaks loose. I have just over 3 years clean time and I have to say that everytime I go to a meeting (usually 3 times a week now) the topic is always something thats been on my mind or bugging me. I feel like its needed for me to keep going to meeting at least 3 a week or I would fall out.
Keep doing what your doing and remember to stay clean....just for today
I've had the same feelings-most of the time its when things are going good that I really have to keep my guard up and stay close to God. I really have to work harder at my program when things are going good. usually when we start slacking is when we are more inclined to relapse than when things aren't going so good. Keep doing what you're doing and I'll keep you in my prayers.
__________________
"...To weather the storms of tomorrow, you've got to have strength today."
from my experience, 'when things start going well' is a time that coincides with my life getting busier and busier. And the more things I have to do and responsibilities I take on, the easier it gets to find excuses to not go to meetings and stay involved. And then I start thinking that I dont need a program like everyone else does.I want to be like normal people. so of course, I then pick them apart because my life is so much better.......resentments, anger....not good. but i have to always remember there is a reason why I got to the program in the first place. obviously i needed it, which makes me different from normal people. NA has alot to offer. yeah, I may question alot, but the majority of it is good for me and my life. Someone told me once to take what I can use and throw the rest away.
drugfree,Don't let complacency effect your cleantime.Going to meetings,staying in contact with people is part of what we need to be connected.I do service for homegroup at meeting,plus I am a GSR,and the Regional Committee Member for the Region I belong to.I set up literature,chairs,even make coffee if I have to.Coffeemaker was my first service in NA.
Complacency has caused me to relapse more than once.Its good that you are aware of it and can see it coming before something tragic happens.And reading your post has made me look at myself,I think I better get on the ball myself.Thanks!
