my girlfriend has decided she's going to smoke pot now and then.
One of her clients gave her a taste a few weeks ago I think she's a dealer trying to get her hooked and it's worked she showed me a small bag she got from the same girl, she sorta waved it in the air showing it off to me and it set me back I asked if the same person gave it to her she said yeah, for free no big deal . I know better not so naive here she used to be a big time user before I met her.
So this is bothering me , for me and for her . I know all the powerless stuff and I also know weeds not a big deal these days with people its probably less harmful then drinking BUT I hoped she'd stay off the crap now i feel like running and getting away from her.
Ok had to get that off my chest I am going to be talking with her about this just need to approach it in the right way and not go the hell off , thanks for listening feed back is good.
hey this is just a thought that came to my head when I read your post
"weeds not a big deal these days" is a scary statement for me. What I've learned from this program is that it isn't what I used or how i used it... it was the emotions I was trying to change (or kill) when I did it. Any drug regardless of what it is, is harmful for myself. I find when I try to compare and down grade drugs I am just setting myself up for a relapse.
I was also thinking if that was my situation what would I do........ all I know is that I try to keep myself safe in recovery... i don't hang out with people who would use or bring drugs around me...... I do have a few friends who do occasionally use....but when they come to hang with me they are clean and would never offer me drugs...... and if they are not able to up hold my boundary than they are not really my friend and I let them go
just my experience
Andrea
__________________
people who mind don't matter, and people who matter don't mind- Dr. Seuss
Hey Vinnie!Being upset is I'm SURE IS PROBABLY PUTTING IT MILDLY>You have been in recovery long enough to know this is a volatile situation for you and your girl.Any mind altering ,mood changing substance, is death for us.I know with the new house,reestablishing your relationship,the anger management classes etc "the heat is on" and you are vulnerable.Definitely get it out,you are aware of "whatever it takes your recovery must come first.I will pray that your higher power guides you in the direction you need to go and "speaks thru your words.Please let us know how things go...Man if aint one thing ,its another!! Another 24 in existence. yow..!! peace mike.
__________________
Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
The "culture" in our society sez it's not a big deal and most of us buy into that because the APPARENT effects aren't so devestating, especially on a short term basis, like less than 20 years and not a daily user.
My two-cents worth is do some science-based homework. Search sites like the Addiction Technology Knowledge Transfer Center, or NIDA.
I was a daily mega smoker for over twenty years, in addition to everything else, and getting off & staying off reefer was SO much harder than I ever dreamt could possible be, and hard for a longer time than even meth. I've had a good bit of neurological testing after about 5 years clean, and I will share as a fact that my brain, for certain functions, is f****d, from the pot, and it is irreversable. And I an't no preacher-prude alarmist, believe me!
__________________
From dying and surviving to living and thriving. LeeU
Ill tell y'all what a big deal is...... I started using pot when I was about 14 because" it wasn't a big deal " . Well, 26 years later I got a fricken crack habbit that I struggle every day to keep at bay. We all know where this is going......... People Places and Things......Enough said!!!!!!!!!
-- Edited by ANJ on Saturday 10th of October 2009 01:26:47 PM
__________________
It sure is eazier to get through the moment than it is to get through the aftermath.
I read your post earlier but was in a funk and could not responsd. Now this is onlu my opnion As addict ppl places and playgrouds have to change, I know without a shadoe=w f a doubt even the small thing eventuallyy lead to relapse imagine the lol hope this finds you blessed
__________________
Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough. Og Mandino
On a more personal spiritual level I prayed and meditated on this relationship , trying to leave out my co dependency stuff and just listen to what message my higher power wants me to hear and here is what i got.
The girl needs me for support right now, not financially but emotionally and I need to hold my end together no matter what. I was honestly very surprised when I heard this LOL because part of me really wants out that being the selfish self interest side, another part of me is her friend and lover who is concerned more about how she is going to get through all this stuff going on in her life and theres a lot of shit getting ready to come down the pike for her. I am not going to enable her and thats something I am going to have to practice doing, last month I enabled its not going to happen this month.
She mentioned a bit ago that I seemed distant and I have been due to putting off something I dont , didn't want to have to deal with but here it is, I went to group again this morning and got a few pointers on communication again and the group stuff is helping to teach me quite a lot most of all that I need to empower myself so I can empower others.
I read something today in group that says what I need to do, " The problem is not finding the right person to love, it's loving the person you found ".
Have a great weekend everyone love you all and thanks again, good seeing you all here sharing and caring.
As the world turns life can get like a soap opera sometimes LOL and it did last night.
I gave her some papers and info from group and she kinda flipped she has some open sores still from her marriage, she said she didnt want anything to do with my group therapy stuff , why? because she didnt do anything to save her marriage and still has guilt.
She balled her eyes out and I see it as a good thing for her because its obvious she has things to deal with and I think she's actually going to go to that group and get help, maybe we'll see.
yeah lee lots of people see it that way with the phony beer, I checked my intentions was I teasing myself, is the devil and my addiction leading me back ? is it like taking a hit of crack and not getting high LOL for one thing I hated the taste of crack, hated injecting myself with a syringe but really liked the taste of a cold beer, no it's not the same, if I want to drink to get drunk I will damn well do it, I do not NEED nor WANT to get drunk today or yesterday.
Have I let unmanageable break up with girls lead me back to using ? YEP have I felt like using through all of this ? YEP have I used ? NOPE I worked this program for once and found myself not needing to use this program works for me IF I choose to use it so today I am not using no matter what and how bad I might FEEL inside I have this program God and a desire to stay clean and sober today and thats what works and thats what I am comfortable using instead of using dope, dope fix's nothing this program fix's the problem and the problems is moi.
So hope thats not to defensive LOLOLOL its the message I think that matters and the message is this program and a higher power CAN work and help keep us clean IF you choose to use it and make it a living thing in your life.
Although my very first response would be concern for you and your recovery in this situation, I must say I am impressed with your use of the recovery tools ! :) Just remember that your Recovery is all about YOU. As long as you keep yourself in "check" , keep being as honest as you have been here, and work your program..... All will be well :):)
I will pray for her to be able to take the help you are offering! Just for the record, I also think that saying weed "isnt so bad" is ludicrous. There is no such thing as the "weed maintenance" plan! A drug is a drug !!
Good Luck We love ya and are here for you always, GOD BLESS Carol
