My husband has not been seen or heard from since September 24, 2009. He has a cell phone in his possession but refuses to answer calls from anyone including his parents. We tried texting him to find out if he is OK but he refuses to respond to anyone's text message. He is a crack/meth addict.
Facts:
1) My husband and I were married for 11.5 years and never did anything remotely like this although we are currently separated, we still maintain contact. He is living with his parents. 2) His parents claim he has never done this before 3) My husband has $2500 in cash on him prior to disappearing. 4) My husband is 44 years old
Questions:
1) Is this normal behavior for a crack/meth addict? 2) When should the family report him missing to the police department?
-- Edited by DeltaRedd1984 on Monday 5th of October 2009 01:57:17 PM
From my experience, yes this something an addict would do. I think (not sure about this) you can file a missing person report after 48 hours of someone missing. I will keep you in my prayers.
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"...To weather the storms of tomorrow, you've got to have strength today."
With that much money? Ya, disappearance is completely in character for an addict. I would talk to his parents about filing a missing person report, if I was in your shoes.
I would often disappear for days, weeks, or even months...
I will pray for all involved...
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I may not be 'All That', but I'm always on my mind!
I am afraid I have to agree w/ Tisa about your husband. I would definitely file a missing person's report especially if this kind of behavior is uncharacteristic of him. $2500 sounds like a lot of money but when you're buying Meth it's really not. Believe me I know. Meth is 100% addictive. A few of my old using buddies had never done drugs except the occassional experimenting when they were very young until they were introduced to meth and for some reason they seem to almost immediately become addicted to it. I have a 30 yr old cousin who had never done drugs in her life except maybe a diet pill to stay up studying when she was in college. She took an out town job 2 yrs ago and someone turned her on to meth to "help her stay awake during her long drive home" In less than a yr she lost her job, her husband & her 2 children. She's a classic case at how powerful meth is. Personally I've never done crack so I don't know that much about it except it's ruined a lot of my friends life. I was a meth addict for almost 7-8 yrs and believe me if your husband is doing meth in a matter of weeks you wont even know who that person is anymore. I hate to be so brutally honest but I've been where he's at and I've been in your shoes too. It's scary I know but the sooner you try to get him some help or atleast find him your chances of saving him are a lot better. People who are on meth are very paranoid and normally isolate themselves from any & everything. Good Luck and I'll keep you & your family in my prayers.
Stacey
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The Will Of GOD Will Never Take You Where The Grace Of GOD Will Not Protect You
This is a bit unreal. We live in Mississippi my mother and father in-law live in Jackson. Today, my mother-in-law spoke to someone in the Jackson police department and informed them about her missing son.
The police could care less, they informed my mother-in-law that her son was 44 years old and a drug user and that disappearance was typical behavior for crystal meth and crack addicts.
They also informed her that there was little they could do since my husband is grown and they believe he does not want to be brother or found.
The officer that spoke to my mother-in-law was rather rude and insensitive about her situation. We tried again today to call and text message him but no response.
I do not know his hang out spots and neither do his parents. The friends he have are on the shady side and I do not know them nor do I want to know them.
This behavior seems so selfish and unnecessary all my husband needs to do is to text message someone and let them know he is alive. I hate all this drama.
There appears that that is nothing else the family can do except pray that he will eventually surfaces and finds help.
Thank you all for your support and prayers.
-- Edited by DeltaRedd1984 on Tuesday 6th of October 2009 10:43:50 AM
-- Edited by DeltaRedd1984 on Tuesday 6th of October 2009 10:44:16 AM
Deltaredd! I will keep you in my prayers,but also i WOULD SUGGEST seeking help for yourself(Naranon,AL-ANON,CODA,NARCANON ETC)This rollercoaster never stops unless you make some "decisions!"You realize that 'YOU ARE POWERLESS OVER YOUR ADDICT AND "YOUR " LIFE IN UNMANAGEABLE./This is the 1st step both sides must accept,surrender and find hope..Let us know how things go.I sincerely wish you peace.....
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
I attend Al-Anon and I am currently working on step 4. I accept the fact that I am powerless over this disease and that my life has become unmanageable. I have turned my husband over to the care of my Higher Power and I pray and meditate daily. My husband has never disappeared like this before and with that type of money in his possession I just did not know what to think.
I finally got him to call his mother by threatening to go the Sheriff office and report him missing. I never felt that he was dead. He maybe near death's door right now, but I will let my Higher Power decide what is best for him. Either way it goes, I will be alright.
Living Life One Day at A Time...
-- Edited by DeltaRedd1984 on Tuesday 6th of October 2009 04:13:12 PM
You and your husband will also be an addition to my prayers! I cant imagine what you must feel like! I never used meth and the longest Ive stayed away from home is a day. so Im not much help for you on insight with that. Your anger ,along with your fear, is obvious in your posts. If you havent given much thought to Mikes suggestion for Al-anon, please for your own sanity consider it. The first step on both sides is not a new revelation to us all but the most important one!! We are here for you! Keep us posted!
Oh, lol, you posted a new reply as I was writing mine.i didnt realize you were going to Al-anon. You sound like you are headed in the right direction and for that Im very very happy to hear. I just hope your husband decides he wants help after this. Maybe since it was not a normal thing for him, he may feel like hes hit a new bottom and get the help he so desperately needs. Your friend God Bless Carol
DeltaRedd1984,It is your call on when you call police to see if they have him or he is gone.Report him as a missing person.That way you are not giving in on his anonymity of being an addict.You must be wondering what has happened.Keep up the faith.
Sometimes we have to hit rock bottom to be able to start getting better. God will decide what is to happen to him. This poem has really helped my husband and myself:
" I LOVE YOU ENOUGH TO..... Allow you to find the God of your understanding-however and whenever you chose Allow you to make what I percieve as foolish mistakes, Never possess you and never let you possess me, Allow you to maintain your dignity and never let you take mine away, Allow you to seek help in your own way, whenever and however u chose, Leave your responsibility in your hands and assume your own, Allow you to hurt when you chose Never apologize for you or cover up for you, Be your best friend, or never see you again, Miss you, but not be destroyed when we are out of touch, Drop all my expectations of you, Become so serene and at peace that I don't need you, Let go of jealousy and anger, Allow you to have your secret space and to have my own, Listen to you with an open heart when I can, Never tolerate your unacceptable behavior , To forgive your unacceptable when and if I am ready, Allow you to grow at your own pace without resentment, Allow you to become the beautiful person you are, Most important............ I LOVE YOU ENOUGH TO LET YOU GO."
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"...To weather the storms of tomorrow, you've got to have strength today."
My mother-in-law called him again last night and he finally answered his cell phone. She asked him if he wanted help. He told her that he was beyond help. He sold his SUV and told her that the only thing he has not lost yet was his life. We are all very frighten for him. The way I see it, he is either going to get on his knees and ask the God of his understanding for help or he is going to continue down the road that he is currently traveling. My only thoughts today are how deep does his rabbit hold go. He has a phone number to call if he wants help. All I can do now is to pray for him that he will be relived from his pain and suffering.
-- Edited by DeltaRedd1984 on Wednesday 7th of October 2009 08:33:42 AM
Why were the cops told that he was a using addict anyways ? That may have prejudiced them in taking immediate action !
I just went on internet and saw laws regarding missing persons complaints. The police seem to be right that he is an adult and therefore cannot be compelled to answer the mobile or come back home.
Semms in few cases, it has backfired on the wife when the missing husband filed a domestic violence and martial discord petition. Using addicts will do any sort of cunning stuff in order to be absolved of blame and stay irresponsible; be careful DeltaRedd.
I also noticed there is a couple of forums that is dealing witgh missing persons issues in Missisipi, they could help too.
Private investigators may come in handy, but seems they are expensive to hire and could be an end option !
Stay Blessed,,,,,hope the winds of change (for the better) blow your way, and if that is in your best interests, I pray to God of my understanding t6o bring your husband back to you, to love and care and cherish in the NA/Naranon way !
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
I guess he sold his cell phone. Now when you call it, it goes directly to voice mail. My husband called the phone number to get help but refused to answer his cell phone when the counselor contacted him the next day to come and get him to go into treatment. I guess, he is still not ready to go. I give up. I have tried but he prefers to live the life he is currently living. All I can do now is pray that the God of my understanding will ease his pain.
Thanks for allowing me a place to share and vent my frustration about this terrible disease. May God bless each and everyone here
You are in our thoughts and prayers Delta,quote from my favorite readings! "with Him all things are possible"..take care of "yourself" and let us know how its going.peace mikef
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
DeltaRedd1984,It is your call on when you call police to see if they have him or he is gone.Report him as a missing person.That way you are not giving in on his anonymity of being an addict.You must be wondering what has happened.Keep up the faith.
