Ive not been able to post or read this past two weeks.
I left Sheffield for Bangalore India, primarily to visit family and fulfill obligations.
Im also very tired out by the hep.c. treatment. The tropical weather here is making things difficult. it is also difficult to eat the food here, first time Im eating curry and spicy stuff on treatment and the least I can say is I am burnt out.
But as always, NA eaches us to cope and do those turnarounds that keep us alive and happy. Im also thinking of staying here till January 2010, so I can exploit the market I have established here over the years for my brand of event management and saxophone music. It makes sense to me to hang around here, do a lot of shows, get some money in the bank and solve the overdue payments problems.
The other option is to go back to England, hang around ih the cold, and eke out a meagre living.
All in all, I have just the one assignment to submit, and I can do that from India. I am also made concious that my 14 year old daughter and my 70 year old mother need me here !
Seems like decisions have to be made,,,,,Id certainly love to do that the NA Way !
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
Hang in there Raman, I know that the chemo is hard on you. Try taking some raw bee pollen for extra energy. CoQ10 together with L-carnitine will also dramatically increase your energy levels (for half a day) as well as sublingual B12. All should be available at a health food/ vitamin store.
my labrador of 10 year age, suddenly died this morning. there he was, as usual, this morning. Then my mother commented "Hey, Tiger dosent look too well, wonder what is wrong with him!" I finish breakfast and sit down to relax. Then Tiger gets up and takes a few fltering steps towards Anjies room. My mother gives him a tablet, thinking he is having a fit.
Then I hear my mother say loudly "Hey come on Tiger, whats wrong ?". I go to see and he is drooling and I sit next to hi on the floor thinking what to do. Then my daughter says "Look, he is not breathing".
I ask ma to call the vet.
I keep stroking him and say "Oh no Tiger, dont leave us now", and I see Anjie crying.
"Tiger is not breathing doc, what do we do ?" "keep massaging his heart and take him to the clinic quickly".
I get the car out while my younger brother and the guy next door bring Tiger down. We move quite fast , and I am hoping against hope !
We reach the clinic, but he was brought dead. "His heart stopped beating" says the assistant. I make funeral arrangements. I pay the fees to the assistant, say goodbye one last time tro Tiger, and move on !
I call Anjie and say he is gone "Just bring back his collar" she says tearfully.
For Gods sake, I cannot elieve this is happening. Tigs wasnt sick even one day of his 10 years. He remained celibate all those years. He was a favourite in the close neighbourhood, well liked for his friendliness and bright eyes.
I will always remember the last look he gave me, bright, but like goodbye, take care Raman.
And I was just sayng to ma and Angie "What a selfish, idiotic guy I am, why did I not take our dear Tiger to the funeral myself instead of handing him over to the assistant ?"
This is the sort of carlessness and stupidity in my life that I have never understood,,,,no matter what Steps I take !
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
