At the beginning of August... had too much pain, anger, and confusion over a recent break up, couldn't seem to think straight, so I started keeping a journal again.
I hadn't kept a journal since 2005, when I burned all my journals that I'd kept for 23 years... due to a HUGE breach of trust and privacy in an abusive previous relationship.
It was time to start again, really... a healing had occurred when I wasn't looking, a sort of generalised rebuilding of trust with my world at large.
__________________
I may not be 'All That', but I'm always on my mind!
Very recently...I challenged how I was being treated by someone at work and didn't back down when the heat (of the system) was turned up...not backing down was not motivated by pain or something I wouldn't have done otherwise, but actually taking it from the informal into a legal realm was. It was the "pain" of not having an officially recognized and documented resolution that was the motivator for that.
__________________
From dying and surviving to living and thriving. LeeU
Hi,I have learned to live with both physical and emotional pain.Mental pain is there to from my addiction.I have physical pain from getting old,emotional pain from damage I have caused to others and myself.I have changed pain into peace and serenity,I am glad to be free of the substances I abused.
excellant question, for me its the pain i have in my left leg. although i am a paraplegic i have severe pain in my lag due to nerve damage, my docs have told me it is greater than labor 10 times, YES 10 times!! at one point in my later stage of using, my doc had prescribed me 300 mg of methadone a day!! that was 225, 40 mg methadone wafers a month. DOCTOR PRECSCRIBED!! i look back and tell the docs i have now about it and they are in awe, that a doc would prescribe a person that much. but the pain is that bad. so the pain i deal with daily, the physical pain, im not even going to begin to go into the metal pain i deal with daily but the physical pain is def a constant struggle because i can no longerf take narcotics, although i have legit pain. i have realized my life is worth iving and remembering what i did 10 minutes ago, then to take something that will not even knock out the pain but might just take the edge off of it, my life is worth the pain i deal with. if i choose to take something for pain, i no longer have a life, i am an addict, i cannot take or foolishly think i can control it.
If I hadnt have been going through so much emotional pain during my active addiction, I probably wouldnt have been motivated to get clean and start a program. The emotional pain hurt so badly that I just wanted to check out. But instead, I found a new way to live.
I try and not let pain bother my recovery.I am faced with a very old mother 92 years,who fell broke her pelvis,and arm.My sister does not want me to come .I told I should come because it will burn out my sister going night and day and working also.I also want to be there if the worst happens.
Hi,I have learned to live with both physical and emotional pain.Mental pain is there to from my addiction.I have physical pain from getting old,emotional pain from damage I have caused to others and myself.I have changed pain into peace and serenity,I am glad to be free of the substances I abused.
I try and not let pain bother my recovery.I am faced with a very old mother 92 years,who fell broke her pelvis,and arm.My sister does not want me to come .I told I should come because it will burn out my sister going night and day and working also.I also want to be there if the worst happens.
