Keli i love reading your posts. they are so poetic and beautiful. and while i was reading that all i could do was think about myself. selfish yes i know but everything that you have said about your life, is the same as mine. trust me its gets better. yes it has to get worse before it gets better but it does. i was so negative when i got here and yes i still have problems. who doesnt? and it took me a bad OD and living in the hospital in a coma for weeks to realize that i didnt want to kill myself. i dont know what i was thinking but i gave it a try and so far so good. im in treatment right now. i have been since the beginning of june. and i only have 4 days left. im clean and im somewhat happy. ive lost everything and now its time to start over. as everyone says this too shall pass but keep coming back. dont give up.
__________________
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
Well we are people who live on the pity pot I know that's not very poetic and a little harsh but think about it, everything gets so exaggerated and emotional.
Now i will speak on a personal level , my biggest problem is throwing tantrums. It just aint right for a 40 something year old man to be throwing a childish tantrum all because he can't get his way, I want control of everything and everyone around him, this isn't reality it's liven in a dream, the director of a stage show making everyone and everything go a certain way, his way because he is also the script writer of that play LOL.
See what i'm getting at ? we're so melodramatic , big drama kings and queens .
So where does this program fit in on these issues ? where do we get help ?
One moto is " Don't take yourself so damn seriously ".
I think a good honest 4th step and 5th is a good place to start where you can see your asset and liability's.
Some of us make the mistake of approaching the Fourth Step as if it were a confession of how horrible we are - what a bad person we have been. In this new way of life, a binge of emotional sorrow can be dangerous. This is not the purpose of the Fourth Step. We are trying to free ourselves of living in old, useless patterns. We take the Fourth Step to gain the necessary strength and insight which enables us to grow. We may approach the Fourth Step in a number of ways.
We must be done with the past, not cling to it. We want to look our past in the face, see it for what it really was and release it so we can live today. The past, for most of us, has been a ghost in the closet. We have been afraid to open that closet for fear of what that ghost may do to us. We do not have to do this alone. Our will and our life are now in the hands of our Higher Power.
This about sums things up, We use the tools available to us, and we develop the ability to survive our emotions, start working a program of RECOVERY and get off the pity pot.
I Love you too Keli
-- Edited by BigV on Thursday 20th of August 2009 08:26:30 PM
Hey Keli! I would suggest sticking around,you may be able to 'HELP'someone else who is struggling!I too would suggest another diatribe listing what you could be grateful for.There is a "lot of pain" shared here ,see if you can "help" us..peace mikeF
__________________
Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
Let me say that I love you Keli, you are an energy in my this days recovery. Keep coming back, you can work it through, you are worth it too ! Hugs accross cyberland !
-- Edited by Raman on Thursday 20th of August 2009 06:48:02 AM
__________________
Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
.
