I still fel like an outcast a social leper if you will I can talkto anyone but with the (mental) problems Ihave on top of my addictionssss it makes it really hard to trust. once everything is said and done I will be able to write about what cripples me, till then I have my therapist to talk to and a few choice (real) friends but with them being normies there is only so much they can understand. I am so close to a nervous breakdown it's unreal. My insecurities due to the recent abuse I am going thru (due process is all that left) my mind is so scared to let someone in. I honestly don't know what to do. I met a musican who turned the poem I posted on here awhile back and turned it into music! I never thought I would hear something I wrote in such a beautiful manner. I was amazed. yea and Ilike him kinda the fantasy of our names on the same CD side by side I guess just like all girls Idream. But he and I are clearly not ready for commitment and have fully discussed this, So is it okay to dream a little dream or is it best to stay in today? ya know I wrote that i think I answered my own ? I do that often lol. b4 ???I write abook cause right now Icould so much onmy mind just wanna make sense of it all and I know it's not going to happen over nnight But DAMN forgive the typosI would usually go fix em jus not in the mood. gonna make kyself walk to the mail box love ya family
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Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough. Og Mandino
I have always ben oone to say that if you are not completly honest with not only someone else but yourelf then how can you get the help you so much desire
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Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough. Og Mandino
Hang in there Manon and slow it down a notch go easier on yourself, pat yourself on the back for the good your doing for yourself.
There are certain people who belong in our lives some just won't fit the mold. I have a long time friend who's stuck by me for 15 years now here in this town, we've always stayed in touch and we help each other out with work now and I know I can call and listen to his madness or get some support any time just about he'll be there if I need him to be I know that for sure, hell i'm not even that good of a friend LOL.
Any how EASY DOES IT, no over whelming maddness in your head just relax a bit which is what i need to do now what a freaken DAY, HOT as hell here to much work just need to relaxxxxxxxxxxxx
You have to be nicer to yourself. Just because you make mistakes and have spots doesn't make you a leopard (leper).. You are a precious child of God. God made us how he made us, and we make ourselves, the way we make ourselves, the rest of the way. doing what we do with what God gives us. I don't think that there is such a thing as a norm and an addict. I think we are all just people with our problems. I don't even know what normal is and if you ask me, normal people scare me. Some of us have cocaine problems, some of us eat too much, some of us are addicted to bad people, some of us are addicted to church, some of us to sex, some of us to pink shoes at the mall, some of us to thousand dollar alligator purses, etc,etc. Some of us are addicted to everything.
We all have mental problems what ever that is, but we just get way too caught up in what people call us and our labels. I am more than a crack addict, I am a mother, a sister, a daughter, and now got a new job as a baker, who had problems with crack in the past, but today, and just today, I choose not to use so I can be a mother, a sister a daughter and a baker. I can't change yesterday. Tomorrow may never come. A good friend of mine, who I shared a hotel room back when I was using and turing tricks told me The past is gone, the future is uncertain. I have a precious gift, all wrapped up for me to enjoy, today, that is why they call it the present
" I know I can call and listen to his madness or get some support any time " Oh, f"£$% sake Vin, that is hilarious !
LOL hey raman the dude is IN F'n SANE not kidding I have him working at my house right now helping build the Cat Coup, like a chicken coup but for my cats . A few years ago with over 15 years clean time he hired an undercover cop to burn down his mother and father inlaws house he got setup by one of his friends, he had been fighting with these people and his ex wife for 5 years over child custody stuff and he finally SNAPPED and got setup and went to prison for 2 years so even clean we do some insane ass shit sometimes.
