My name is John, I have been clean and sober since 12-21-1989. Thanks to both AA and NA, 3 great sponsors (through out the course of my almost 20 years of recovery) and a God, who was absolutely of my misunderstanding when I first arrived in the rooms, I have not found it nescessary to take a drink or do any other mind altering substance since.
In 1998, (10 years into my recovery )when I started building this website, adding a chat room, message board, etc. to it, I had no idea where I would take it, or where it would take me. I was in so much pain from two herniated disk in my back, that I could not ride in a car to a meeting, without suffering for hours afterwards. So, I opened a chatroom online where I could at least interact daily with other recovering alcoholics and addicts. I was like so excited and will never forget the first person who entered the chatroom. We spent probably 4 hours sharing our experience, strength and hope with one another. In 1999 I was finally able to get back surgery. However, as a result of the post surgical exam, it was discovered that I had a 2 inch diameter mass in the upper lobe of my left lung. In 2000, I ended up having lung surgery. Then in 2001 I blew out 5 inches of blood vessel in my brain. Without going into alot of detail, I must simply say that at 10 years sober I was suffering the physical ramifications of drinking and drugging for 20 years. Today, simply because of this program, a God that is willing to make repeated investments in my well being, and without a doubt Miracles In Progress as a whole, I live an absolutely great life, a life I did not earn, one I do not deserve.
From 1998 until today, Miracles In Progress has held me up. Not only did I have to undergo all the medical surgeries during this time; I had to end a relationship, my mother died, two of my aunts (both in their 60's) were murdered on the same day in Florida, my sister was murdered by her husband of 22 years in Va, my best friend died of cancer, even my little dog, James Dean, a Maltasse died of parvo.
Immediately after my brain surgery in 2001, DMV took my drivers license, saying I suffered so much brain damage that I would never be able to drive again. I ended up selling the piece of poop I called a car to someone in recovery just to have some money. So, from 2001 until 2003 I was unable to drive, unable to work, being taken care of by friends who allowed me to sleep on a single mattress on their kitchen floor, next to the washing machine and dryer. My life was over. It was never going to get better than this. Even a pitiful disability check, didn't help. What I got in it, was so little it just equaled another disability. Drinking and druggin' wasn't looking like a viable option but suicide was. In 2003 I screamed at God, yelled at Him, cried to Him. "This isn't life, this isn't living, why did you let me live? 90% of the people that suffer a blow out of 5 inches of blood vessel in their brain are dead before their bodies hit the floor, why would you do this to me? Let me live? Living like this isn't a gift! Death would have been!" I sobbed hard that day, and while doing so, I remembered the ABC's of AA. C, hit me like a ton of bricks. C. God could and would if he were sought.
Within days, I started to witness a Miracle In Progress, the magic of recovery. (continued on next thread)
-- Edited by John on Monday 8th of June 2009 12:45:23 AM
I was offered a job, as a counselor for homeless families with minor children. It was part time, and the hourly pay wasn't much, but I was grateful to have it. I was able to take some test for DMV and get my drivers license back. With my "pitiful" disability check I was able to buy a Jeep Cherokee SUV. I met a woman, through some friends, who 3 years later would become my wife. While we were dating, I saw a trailer on the side of the road with a for sale sign on it. I turned around to look at it. My girlfriend said, "John, thats a motorcycle trailer, you don't even have a motorcycle! After buying it, she said, "You need to go back to your doctor and see if they didn't wire your brain wrong." I explained, "It's worth, 550.00, I bought it for 350.00, I can sell it for 450.00 and make 100.00 dollars." After buying it I was left with less then 100.00 to my name. The next day, while buying some two dollar videos at a pawn shop, I saw a machine. It had 399.00 on it's price tag. As I was getting ready to leave, the clerk, shouted, "if you want to buy that, I will sell it to you for what we have loaned out on it." He was pointing on the machine I had looked at. I asked, "what is it?" "A pressure washer" he replied. "What does it do?" I asked, and he explained, you can wash your house with it, clean your driveway and sidewalk with it." I asked him how much they loaned on it, he punched a few keys and replied, "150.00". I went home and told my girlfriend about it. She laughed, "John, you bought a motorcycle trailer yesterday, and don't own a motorcycle, and now you are talking about buying a pressure washer and you live in an apartment, with a dirt driveway! Besides that, you don't even have 150.00 to buy it with." You might want to let your doctor know the kind of decisions you have been making, something isn't right with your brain." I called my sponsor, told him, "I can buy a pressure washer worth 400.00 for 150.00. If you would loan me the money I can sell it for 300.00 and pay you right back." He agreed to help me do this. After picking it up, taking it home and while trying to figure out how it worked, a man came up to me and asked how much I charge to pressure wash homes. He worked for a real estate company and they had 5 properties that needed to be washed. I explained to him, I bought it to sell it, but would look at the properties and if it was something I felt comfortable doing, I would give him a price on the job. That week I made over $1000.00 squirting water at these homes. My motorcycle trailer was converted into a equipment trailer and on it went everything needed to pressure wash peoples homes. That year, I made a six digit income, over 100,000.00 dollars. With a motorcycle trailer and a pressure washer that I had bought for the purpose of selling and making 200.00 dollars profit combined. I worked and earned my way completely off disability. Obviously, God had a different plan for these items than I, and put the opportunity to get them in front of me. I just thought I knew what I was going to be doing with them.
In 2004, I got a phone call. A man wanted a home he had just bought pressure washed and had gotten my number from a friend of his. I went to the house he was wanting cleaned. As we stood in the driveway taking, he kept saying things like "easy does it", keep it simple, first things first". I asked him, " Are you a friend of Bill W.?" He smiled and said, "yep, been sober for 10 years now". Without any forethought, I asked him, "what are you going to do with this property?" He said he wasn't sure if he was going to lease it or just fix it up and sell it for a profit. Out of no where, with no premediation came from my lips, "why don't you lease it to me for 3 years and I'll turn it into a recovery house". Without batting an eye, with no hesitation, he replied, "Okay, I am willing to do that, I can have it ready by the first of next month, will that work for you?" It was a done deal. Miracles In Progress Recovery House #1.
That winter was a cold one. After the house was full, I was getting several calls a day from alcoholics and addicts wanting to recover, and needing a place to live. At Christmas I had six more people in it than the group home permit allows. I asked God, "help me out bud, you know I need another house". I sat down at my puter, looked at the classified ads, and one house stood out. It was the only one I had to call. I called and spoke to a man who said, he couldn't make the decision if it could be used as a group home, his sister actually owned the house, he was just showing it, but his sister might be open to the idea because her husband is a member of AA with 30 years sobriety. I asked him to explain to her what I needed the house for, and see if she is willing to call me. Thirty minutes later, I got a phone call. It was his sister. She lived 2 hours away. "I'm on my way there to show you the house, and in case its one that will work for you, I'm bringing the lease paperwork with me." The house was fabulous. Large. Five bedrooms, 3 baths, fireplace, detached two car garage, in a lovely neighborhood. And to boot, she was leasing it to me for three years, for the purpose of a group home, for less than what you can rent an apartment for. Miracles In Progress Recovery House #2.
Pressure Washing had expanded to include painting; work was plentiful, the recovery houses were filled with men who were serious about recovering, willing to gain employment, go to meetings, get a sponsor and work the steps. Many come from detox centers, treatment programs, jails, psych hospitals, some from the streets, others referred by family and friends.
In 2008 I got a phone call from a lady that lives in NY. She has a rental property here that needed some painting, pressure washed, front porch rebuilt, etc. Hugh house, on a main street, blocks from a Mall, on the bus line, centrally located between downtown and the beach. After doing all this work, I watched a For Rent sign stand in the yard for about 2 months. I finally got up the courage to call her and ask if she might be interested in leasing it to me for a group home. We worked it out and it became Miracles In Progress Recovery House #3.
In 1989, while riding in my sponsors BMW 740iL, which I was very impressed with, we were on the boardwalk of Galvaston Bay, and I was absolutely amazed by all the big homes along the boardwalk. He said to me, "John, if you stay sober, one day you can own a BMW, and if you stay sober, you can live on the boardwalk." I laughed at him, it had to be a joke. I had just crawled out from under a bridge in Houston, Tx. This kind of stuff doesn't happen for people like me.
Miracles In Progress saved my life. It made meetings possible when they were impossible. It gave me a place to go when I was tore up from the floor up, needing a check up from the neck up, after my mothers death. It helped me stay focused and centered as I went through some really tough medical procedures. It gave me a place to vent when my aunts were murdered, and after my brother-in-law killed my sister. It even gave me a safe place to cry, after burying my dog. Miracles In Progress has grown from that first person who entered the chatroom years ago, to a vareity of 12 step groups, totalling over 13,000 registered members from around the world. The Miracles In Progress Recovery Homes, or more likely the men in them, has taken a man who once, not so long ago, thought his life was over, and given more meaning to his existance, than ever before dreamed of. When I am asked, what the sucess rate is for the homes, I reply, "100%". It has been completely sucessful at keeping me sober and in touch with the reality of this diease.
Today I know I'm a Miracle In Progress. I get to see the magic of recovery take place in my life and in the lives of others every day. I started Miracles In Progress thinking of how much I could help others, and in reality the person it has helped the most is me.
I smile when I pick a newcomer up from the Greyhound bus station, who is fresh out of treatment, impressed with my BMW, (I own 3 of them today) and I tell them, "If you stay sober, you can have a BMW of your own one day." I smile as I pulled on to the street I live, which is less than 2 miles from the beach, and its street name is Boardwalk Ave.
In 20 years, my sponsor(s) have never lied to me, and God has not turned his back on me. Even though I sometimes thought they both had. And as I write on this message board, I can fell the magic dust of progress, falling ever so lightly on me because of Miracles In Progress. Here is where I grew and continue to grow the most. One day at a time. It's here that I learned how to let go when I want to hang on, and how to hang on when I want to let go.
1989, I crawled out from under a bridge, literally. In 2001-2003 I was still under that bridge mentally, emotionally, and economically. Experiencing health problems, losing family, loss of drivers license, feeling hopeless, without a worthy cause to live for or die for.
I showed up for life. God put it in front of me, and I showed up for it. Today, is a great day because I'm living, not just sucking air.
When it comes to recovery, it is useless to wonder where it will take you, just get in it and enjoy the ride.
-- Edited by John on Monday 8th of June 2009 12:46:12 AM
Over the last 2 years or so I have had phone conversations with John and gotten to know him just a bit, but enough to know we're both on the same page here, this site saved my life and the people who share with me have been a great support to me in times difficult and challenging, I came here after having relapsed after 5 years clean time and I knew I needed to understand what NA was all about I had used AA for many years but something wasn't clicking there for me I wasn't just an alcoholic I was a straight up crack head dope fiend and NA gave me the addicts view on recovery and both of those working together gave me what I needed to find myself.
This site this board right here gave me hope support and a warm place to go to know other addicts an how they get through the years days hours and minutes living clean. I have been taught so much here from you all and for that I am greatly thankful and that is why I give my service here so others can reap the same rewards.
God Bless John yes things change I now have my own business too I still work a full time job painting but in between I bust my butt starting up a business of my own hoping one day to be self reliant with that business. Today I am able to buy a home for the first time in 47 years I have loving and trusting relationships with others and I am not a prisoner to addiction . I have a relationship with a higher power that is so Awesome, life is good and it keeps getting better.
Thanks for being here John. You love of the sufferung addict and kindness have brought about his fab and wonderful site. I have been a member here for mkany years now and continue to be a miracle in progress !!! God Keep you Blessed for your efforts !
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
John, Hey:) It's Elizabeth. Hopefully you remember me. I am 36 days clean and up in Michigan with my parents going to outpatient therapy and nightly meetings. You are such an inspiration! My parents loved your story. PLEASE open up a woman's house so I can come back!!!
Great hearing from you here! 38 miracles in a row! Wow... one for each day! Hopefully I remember you? Gosh, I don't think I'll ever forget you! You have a story of active addiction and the struggle of recovering from it, that will not go to waste provided you are willing to share it with other women who enter the rooms and don't truly believe they will ever get better. You can be a light of hope for them.
Rose and I miss you dearly Elizabeth. I wish we didn't have to shut down the women's house and convert it to a men's house, but the house would not get stable enough. We won't take a woman's house off the table completely. Just couldn't keep going through it being a financial burden all the time because of its high turn over rate. We truly would need a group of woman who are serious about their recovery and willing to make a 6 month - 1 year committment to the house and most importantly to themselves.
With or without the recovery house for woman, you will always have a safe place to come here with me and Rose. We would gladly open our own home to you, if it would help you keep moving forward in your recovery.
I spent all day with Bill, my sponsee today. We spent all weekend shopping for a motorcycle for him and finally found a really nice one. We were out riding around on our bikes pretty much all night tonight. It's his first motorcycle and he is really excited about having one. I jokingly told him, "you have to stop smiling so much when you go down the road, you are going to ruin the reputation of bikers!" LOL
Elizabeth, please call Rose and I, any time for any reason, in fact there doesn't even have to be a good reason. Just call to be calling, k?
hey John, glad to hear you're having fun riding you bikes. I ride just about every day. My daily rider is a v-twin with saddle bags and a luggage rack. I do all my estimates and errands on it that don't involve lumber lol. It's getting a bit hot to ride during the day, but I rode all last summer when gas was $3-$4 per gallon. Have fun with it.
