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NA Message Board -> Narcotics Anonymous Message Board -> well here i am.
Post Info TOPIC: well here i am.
defeatedgirl123


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well here i am.
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The FIRST thing i would like to say is thank you. for all your prayers. and i would like to thank my sister for even coming on here and letting all of you know. i am truely sorry for making all of you worry or hurting you. i don't really remember anything but i do know how i got to be here sitting in this hosptial bed. It's been a very emotional night/day and i am honestly disappointed in myself, to think that i could even let the monster inside of my head and do this to myself. To hurt my family, my friends, and all of you but i guess i was beyond coming back to being sober. but i am done. i am going to treatment next week and i am going to come out a better person. yes i am afraid of who i might really be or if i can handle my anger but i need to do this. i need to give myself up to my god and let this recovery happen. im still not 100% but hopefully i will be at a meeting tonight.

thanks again and i really would not be here without all of your support.

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AnthonyG


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 This is the first thing Ive really smiled at all day.. So happy for you girl.  Your journey begins . Miracles happen .  Happy to have you along on mine .smile  This is truely the first day of the rest of your life . 

-- Edited by AnthonyG on Wednesday 27th of May 2009 02:56:40 PM

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The fundamental delusion of humanity , is to suppose that I am here and you are out there .

                         Yasutani Roshi
DeanC


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Welcome back Liz, we missed you smile.gif

Dean

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alyqat4


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You are an amazing miracle... (happy tears and ((hugs))) Thank you for sharing your life and your message with us... Please please keep comin' Liz:)

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Raman


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God keep u Blessed dear one !

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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
LeeU


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floating.gif BEST POST TO SEE, EVER!
 clap.gifThank God you are OK
clap.gif ...what a miracle...
clap.gifGod must have some plans for you!
teddy.giffloating.gifflowerpot.gif

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From dying and surviving to living and thriving. LeeU
dan h


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Liz, thank you for posting and updating us, glad you are getting better. Speaking of which, I wanted to comment on what you said about being scared about finding out who you are. Liz, for me, recovery journey has been a journey, first and foremost, of SELF-DISCOVERY. See we have to first find out WHO we are before we can become who we want to be. The solution is in the steps. In the first three steps I lay the foundation that I will need in place to begin the inventory process. This foundation is CRITICAL to my being able to look at myself honestly and not run and hide. It is only with my 3rd step decision to turn my will and life over to the care of a God of my understanding that I can receive the courage to be searching and fearless. To be thorough in other words. In step 4 I find out who I am, and have been. Not who I THINK I am, who I WANT to be, who I present myself to be, or who I want OTHERS to think I am....but who I REALLY am and have been. That is some seriously scary stuff. Then in step 5 by getting to the EXACT NATURE of my wrongs, I get to find out WHY I am who I am. How did I get this way? Now the good news!!! Step 6 begins the process of rebuilding my personality. At this point I can begin to become ANYONE I can imagine myself to be. The book says that we "look to the fellowship for the kind of life we want for ourselves." It also says that the "sincerity with which we work this step will be proportionate to our desire for change." How bad do you want to become someone you can be proud of and your family can be proud of? It's all up to you. You can do this. I know that because others have done it who were feeling just as defeated and hopeless as you probably are. The first thing to do is to stay clean. This makes the other stages of recovery possible.  No, we don't ever become 'perfect,' we just get better. But the more we live the program, the better we get.

On an 'aside' I wanted to offer a suggestion: to reflect your newfound comittment to recovery....how about a new nickname? Something perhaps a bit more positive? Just a thought. Big BIG Love and NA Hugs to you.......

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BigV


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It was a real pleasure seeing you in the meeting this evening I had hope but also doubts you'd make it through and like I said you have a purpose here and one of them is to recover from where your at, if I ME can do it you certainly can because we do have many similarity's, many of us relate to you on a level you will find no  where else Liz .

SO do we need to gather together and find a new ID name for you or will you have the courage to do it yourself ? biggrin

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AnthonyG


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livingJFTgirl ?   humbledgirl ?  miraclegirl ?

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The fundamental delusion of humanity , is to suppose that I am here and you are out there .

                         Yasutani Roshi
DeanC


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surrenderedGirl

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defeatedgirl123


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hahahaha. i like surrendered girl. would you still know it was me if i changed my name?

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DeanC


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Sure we would, just put  "formally known as defeatedgirl" in your sig line for a few weeks




-- Edited by DeanC on Thursday 28th of May 2009 03:23:04 PM

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AnthonyG


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Should I hold a resentment because you choose Deans ?no

 how bout  BeautifulyDefeated .  check the spelling though biggrin



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The fundamental delusion of humanity , is to suppose that I am here and you are out there .

                         Yasutani Roshi
defeatedgirl123


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well i have no idea what to change my name to. so don't be resentful Anthony. wink i'll take suggestions.

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DeanC


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AnthonyG wrote:

 

Should I hold a resentment because you choose Deans ?no

how bout  BeautifulyDefeated .  check the spelling though biggrin

 


sounds too much like "beautifully broken"  no


 



-- Edited by DeanC on Thursday 28th of May 2009 09:34:19 PM

-- Edited by DeanC on Thursday 28th of May 2009 09:34:41 PM

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DeanC


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which reminds me of 



-- Edited by DeanC on Thursday 28th of May 2009 09:33:33 PM

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defeatedgirl123


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oh dean, you and you oldies.

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DeanC


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come on Govt. Mule is still kicking lol

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AnthonyG


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[VIDEO=<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Wf0qEXeGCJM&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Wf0qEXeGCJM&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>]

-- Edited by AnthonyG on Friday 29th of May 2009 12:18:09 PM

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The fundamental delusion of humanity , is to suppose that I am here and you are out there .

                         Yasutani Roshi
DeanC


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Anthony all you have to do is copy paste the url of the video and put a  ]   behind it and [video=    in front  and that's it.


[video=http://www.youtube.com/swf/l.swf?swf=http%3A//s.ytimg.com/yt/swf/cps-vfl99456.swf&video_id=Wf0qEXeGCJM&rel=1&eurl=http%3A//www.activeboard.com/forum.spark&iurl=http%3A//i4.ytimg.com/vi/Wf0qEXeGCJM/hqdefault.jpg&sk=n8Vv4pAJrMRJ6w1IMPTAXYTttrKUJdMgC&fs=1&hl=en&cr=US&avg_rating=4.80508474576&length_seconds=260&allow_ratings=1&allow_embed=1&title=311%20beautiful%20disaster]

-- Edited by DeanC on Friday 29th of May 2009 09:15:41 AM

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AnthonyG


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lolololo  GRRRRRRRRRRRR

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The fundamental delusion of humanity , is to suppose that I am here and you are out there .

                         Yasutani Roshi
defeatedgirl123


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see dean i knew you had a good taste of music. 311 is one of my favorites.

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DeanC


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that's Anthony's vid, I just helped him smile.gif

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defeatedgirl123


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oh. well either way it's still a good song.

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LeeU


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oh geez...bobby zimmerman was just beginning to run around the Village when he cut his first record (yep, they were called records "back then") and I practically got thrown out of the house for playing it...oldies, indeed!!!  LOL

how about phoenixgirl?

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From dying and surviving to living and thriving. LeeU
defeatedgirl123


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phoenix?

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DeanC


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http://healthbyadi.com/Phoenix_Bird.jpg

Phoenix!

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defeatedgirl123


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i don't get it.

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BigV


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My cousin from Back east Pennsylvania turned me onto Gov. mule I like some of it great band "Gold Dust woman's" my fav.

Liz your going to have to re register with an new name ONCE YOU GET ONEbiggrin





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DeanC


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BigV you could help along by banning her current one. smile.gif sometimes we need a little kick in @$$.   "If nothing changes, Nothing Changes"  biggrin


-- Edited by DeanC on Saturday 30th of May 2009 08:00:39 AM

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DeanC


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defeatedgirl123 wrote:

i don't get it.



google the phoinex bird.  A mythical creature

 

http://www.mythicalrealm.com/creatures/phoenix.html



-- Edited by DeanC on Saturday 30th of May 2009 08:03:17 AM

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BigV


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DeanC wrote:

BigV you could help along by banning her current one. smile.gif sometimes we need a little kick in @$$.   "If nothing changes, Nothing Changes"  biggrin


-- Edited by DeanC on Saturday 30th of May 2009 08:00:39 AM


HEH HEH SNORTbiggrin

We can only suggest not take control of others though I am not quite WELL yet I still have bad behavior and you've encouraged that LOL


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It's all about spirituality...
DeanC


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BigV wrote:

 

DeanC wrote:

BigV you could help along by banning her current one. smile.gif sometimes we need a little kick in @$$.   "If nothing changes, Nothing Changes"  biggrin


-- Edited by DeanC on Saturday 30th of May 2009 08:00:39 AM


HEH HEH SNORTbiggrin
though I am not quite WELL yet I still have bad behavior and you've encouraged that LOL

 



http://www.intelligentspeculator.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/devil.gif



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AnthonyG


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phoenixgirl is great..arisen from the ashes .

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The fundamental delusion of humanity , is to suppose that I am here and you are out there .

                         Yasutani Roshi
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