This will not be the first Memorial day Ive spent clean. I believe it will however be the first Ive felt any guilt over my service time.
I spent from 78 to 82 in the USN (navy) I actually remember some of it. It was 4 years spent in a cloud of blurry thoughts and memories that began while still in boot camp. I had gone into the military with a degree in getting f**ked up. I came out with a Phd in addiction.
The military for me was rampant with dope. Due to a little program they had called " Rent Plus " Money was flowing. If we went off base and rented a place the military would pay your rent. The result was 5 kids away from home pulling in 1000 bucks a week . Each one of us making enough to pay the rent.
Wheres the honor in that ? Were we upstanding young men doing our duty ? Were we serving God and country ? Pffft We were the uber cool. Party animals.
Having the perfect life to support a raging addiction was fine with me. My intentions were to stay in the military until forever. But , due to a few carrier accidents where a bunch of guys got killed . And the resulting autopsys which showed 80 percent of them were high. The CNO (Chief of Naval Operations ) Came out with a little speach call " Not on my watch" That was in 1982 or thereabouts.
All of the sudden my world was shattered. No more was the attitude that they didnt care what we did as long as it wasent on base. No more warnings. No more tolerance. As I watched more and more of my addict buddies get drummed out very unhonorably , my world suddenly got very small.
I left the military for one reason only. I could no longer do dope.
Wheres the Honor ?
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The fundamental delusion of humanity , is to suppose that I am here and you are out there .
Hey Anthony, that's not much different than my Father drinking his way through 28 years in the Navy, including many incidents involving alcohol. The military used to protect (turn a blind eye) to their addicts and alcoholics. I would say it was the norm. Take a look at vietnam vets. I'd hate to guess the percentage that were addicts. At least you had the balls to serve, I never did.
Honor is in honesty today. Honor is in self-inventory today. Amends today, God-in-your life today. Honor in giving experience, strength, and hope to others, including me-your posts are always helpful and from the heart. Honor is in clean time today.
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From dying and surviving to living and thriving. LeeU
