Go read your posts to other people on the board and then ask yourself why those same words aren't applicable to you... Then take your OWN words to heart.
What would you tell your BEST friend to do in your situation? Be your own best friend!
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The truth does not change based on my inability to stomach it - Flannery O'Connor
My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance and in inverse proportion to my expectations - Michael J. Fox
I feel like an A hole for giving all that advise when I can't do any of it myself. I do feel better after writing it down. But the craving is still there. I want it so bad. I don't know how to stop it. I feel totally powerless. I finally understand why I should have a sponsor and go to face meetings.
Do a lot of praying rebuke that crap tortured it wants your body and soul its the enemy and playing a CON GAME on you.
It takes what it takes and it takes a lot of pain sometimes and sometimes theres just no avoiding it, once you know deeep deep down that your totally absolutely powerless you let it go and you stop craving it and you stop obssesing for it.
So you have the option , either get through this painful period or give in thats the options.
I will pray for your strength tonight for you and give you some of what I have I hope it gets you through this time.
I stayed home with my child. I didn't leave my house. So I made it through Friday night and I am still sober. Today is going to be another obstacle but hopefully I can make it. The craving and obbession is still there not as strong as yesturday.
TS, your biggest problem is that you don't understand what you're up against. You need to become educated about the all the forces that are working against you staying clean and sober. There is literally 100's of things that will help you, and people too, but you have to get to meetings. Those that want it and get to meetings regularly will get it.
I am going to give you a little help if you wanted the dope that bad you would stay out all day and night chasing it.... You have to chase YOUR Recovery that way also. I mean hell when I didn't chase recovery I was obsessed with the using and wanting and needing more and more. This online stuff work's, but I had to get to those face 2 face meetings so that people knew me. Since I have 75 days clean today. I was asked on Saturday night if I would do a topic share at someone's anniversary on March 29th. He siad I want you to talk to your sponsor about it first. Do you know why he asked me though??? He said he see's me at meetings, he see's me fighting my disease, and if I go out and use again I just jump back on the wagon and keep coming back. He said you do make meetings and you do what is asked of you. I learned that through my meetings. Never give up on yourself. You need that sponsor to guide you through the process, I am started on my first step once again. There is relief in the step's is what I have been told from our misery, pain, hurts and all the nasty stuff that keeps us using. But you have to get involved in the program. When I hide behind the computer I can put anything down. When I go to the meetings people see me and can see if I am really happy, upset, angry all of that. Go to meetings they help us the theraputic value of one addict helping another.
