I have learned alot being in the Intensive outpatient treatment I had to undergo before my visitation right with my son could be unsupervised I reach that goal on thursday and my son will be with me all day Saturday alone for the first time since before thanksgiving. He and I are very excited to see each other for that length of time hope to be able to rent a movie sit back and enjoy each others company. This past 4 weeks I have learned so much and realized I don't have to be a bitch to keep ppl at a "safe" distance I can be open and myself and have friends in my life. I also learned I deserve better than what I have been settling for with Scott he has been in my life off and on for 9 years and that means alot but never good enough to keep me perse for many years I was the other woman I am sick of that I deserve to know how forever feels and he is not capable of loving me the way I love him as much as that hurts I cannot ask him to choose between me and his family so finally after lots of fights and thiking I told him that today I told him it hurts to be with him this way I want it all I deserve it as well. I am not ready for it right now but one day I will right now I have alot of work to do on myself before I can add some one else to the equation it just sucks I don't know if this will ever change or if there is someone who can handle me for me but for now I need not focus on these things I still have alot of work to do with myself and one day I am sure that someone will come into my path and I will have someone who can love me the way I deserve to be loved till then I will continue the inside work I need to do to get this done I am enjoying the changes for the most part in my life they are the next right thing maybe that is why it is so uncomfortable but being able to make friend outside my computer is kinda nice not to say that ya'll in here are any less but before I write a novel I will stop here and update fter the weekend and the visit with my son
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Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough. Og Mandino
Your workin on things Manon so give yourself a lot of credit for trying and I give you a lot also so just keep doing what your doing this is a slow process
That sounds like you made a very hard decision which is often the right decision. I am very proud of you. It takes a lot of courage and self love to take care of you before anything else. Congratulations you should be proud of your self. Just remember one foot in front of the other and baby steps are okay too. Good Luck!!
I know you meant no harm in saying Iam making "big girl" choices but I am almost 36 years old I am by no means a little girl just happen to be learning my social skills at an old age
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Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough. Og Mandino
Well, I'm nearly 52 and just making some of my first "big girl" decisions so, certainly no offense meant. It's something you might hear at meetings too.... Putting on the big girl panties and dealing.
In that most of us come to this program with a pretty IMmature emotional age, I believe it's appropriate. We tend to grow up in public in this deal putting aside self serving and childish decisions for healthier more mature ones... It was meant as a compliment.
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The truth does not change based on my inability to stomach it - Flannery O'Connor
My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance and in inverse proportion to my expectations - Michael J. Fox
