On those days I was very eager to work the 4th Step. I had written a 4th of sorts when I was in a treatment centre.
Once on the outside, having experienced a clean life and loving it,I wanted more of what teh NA Program had to offer me.

When I read the Basic Text the implications rang true; either I reinforce my recovery by doing the 4th Step immediately or do it as the earliest. the reading also suggested I have no reservations in this regard.

So I searched for someone who had done the 4th. The Basic Text dosent say that one has to have a sponsor to do the 4th,so I just looked out for someone who did.

One AA member became willing to guide me and asked me to read literature first. I read tye Basic Text of NA and the 12 and 12 of AA. I was very lucky to be guided this way and spent about three months in the process of reading up.

The as circumstances would have it, my sponsor experienced few changes in his life that made it impractical to devote time on a 4th with me,so he suggested I keep looking, though he would still stay as sponsor.

I asked NA members from other cities in India and no one "qualified". I appreciate their honesty in saying they hadnt worked it themselves.

These were daysbefore any  Step guides were available and internet wasnt existent. All we had then by way of communication was snail mail that took 3 days inland and 7 days abroad. So if I had to work a non-face to face 4th Step Id have to wait 6 days in the case of inland and 14 days abroad to read responses. The only alternatives were travel and telephone which were too costly to even contemplate.

So through honest sharing of this problem of finding someone to gyuide me on the 4th, it became apparent and was suggested that I concentrate on service instead and when the time was right I would certainly write my 4th.

And that time did come in two years when I met my Step sponsor and his wife. They were wonderful people and had come all the way from New York to Bangalore( 20000miles ?)
just to work the 4th Step with willing people. They held a 4th Step workshop and then all of us who were impressed  and willing to do the 4th formed a Step Group. the primary purpose of this group was to do the 4th Step. Many joined and came for the weekly meetings and a sense of hope prevailed.

However as it was, many trailed off and we had but a few writing regularly. Basically what we shared in meetings is =
1.Did we keep our weekly commitment ?
2.If yes what problems or solutions did we discover ?
3.If not what stopped us and what we thought maybe a potential solution ?

Over the next few months we had two of us in Bangalore writing regularly and two in delhi too.  Later that became just me writing in Bangalore and one in Delhi. The group too folded up because of low attendance as well as life cycle. I wasnt left with much support.

Then the phenomena of internet began appearing in India and now I could directly mail and get responses from my Step sponsor. So I wrote and wrote and wrote.

We had no Step guides then so I followed a writing method suggested by my sponsor,
which isaw later on tallied with the format in the yellow coloured guide
" A guide to working Step 4 in NA".

Well friends,,this process was two years long, with lot of feed back and guidance from my sponsor.
I beleieve that nothing but a thorough writing like that could have lifted my obssessions and complusions and changed my life forever !!!!