Part of working the first step and admitting our powerlesness lies in learning that we don't know what we don't know. With this understanding and the belief that we can duplicate the efforts of those that got clean before us and get similar results plus the willingness to put forth the effort to make that happen, is the basis of "How it works" in our programs.
This is summed up by little slogans like "You're mind is not your friend", "My best thinking got me here", "When an addict is up in his head, he is in a bad neighborhood"... and many more. We've all had those moments of clarity, the morning after where we said, "What was I thinking" fully knowing the insanity of our actions while using, and somehow we pushed that aside and used and used again, without much thought of our insane thiking outside the influence of our drugs of choice. Later, when we've acheived (for lack of better term) clean time, we give ourselves way too much credit and believe that that the second step promise has happened for us and we are now sound of mind and can make good decisions.
With that said, and winding down to another 5 year increment of my recovery, I take a looks back at my decisions that I made at 3,5, 10, 15 years and shake my head, still crazy after all these years. Granted it's more about my thoughts and words now, then my actions, per say but words do just as much damage. So my message (if there is one here) is don't let time make you think that you know what you're doing. Continue to seek outside opinion from trusted advisers that can clearly see when you're off the path.
"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
So my message (if there is one here) is don't let time make you think that you know what you're doing. Continue to seek outside opinion from trusted advisers that can clearly see when you're off the path.
Dean
-- Edited by DeanC at 11:25, 2009-02-20
It's ALWAYS about the first step, isn't it!! No matter how much those day-at-a-times-string together and add up, no matter how much better my life becomes, I am always just one hit/toke/snort/swallow/huff/ WHATEVER, away from total insanity. Doesn't matter whether I'm conscious of it or not, maintaining eternal vigilance will serve me well.
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From dying and surviving to living and thriving. LeeU
Granted it's more about my thoughts and words now, then my actions, per say but words do just as much damage. So my message (if there is one here) is don't let time make you think that you know what you're doing. Continue to seek outside opinion from trusted advisers that can clearly see when you're off the path. 
It's ALWAYS about the first step, isn't it!! No matter how much those day-at-a-times-string together and add up, no matter how much better my life becomes, I am always just one hit/toke/snort/swallow/huff/ WHATEVER, away from total insanity. Doesn't matter whether I'm conscious of it or not, maintaining eternal vigilance will serve me well.
