Raman, I'm so glad that I could lift you're spirit, and that's what NA is really about for me. There's always a silver lining and a light at the end of the tunnel, even when we can't see them!! I think it's fantastic that you're getting your Master's, and don't worry, it's about 5 degrees here and I walk everywhere!! But for right now, I'm doing it with a smile on my face, even when I don't want to get out of bed in the morning cause the floor is cold and four layers of clothing just isn't enough when I'm outside. I just walk really fast, wear two pairs of socks and look foward to spring. Ok, so this got a bit lengthy, but my point is that when we're clean we just have to look at the bright side of things, even when life wears us down. I remember when waking up in the morning was enough of a reason to get high, much less my car breaking down, it being cold and I'm tired of going to school. It all boils down to gratitude for the opportunity to experience everything that I do, EVEN when I hate the experience. Keep your head up sweetie. It will get warmer sometime!

"In The Spirit Of Love" is a unique theme to have for a convention, sounds good...

Vini, I've had an acting-out day too, yesterday. My wife gets these frequent one-sided headaches at least once a week, now lately it's been twice a week... We have consulted our doctor, took all scans and tests, thorough physical check-up, everything shows all is well with her health. Sought a second opinion also. Our doctor says it's Trigerminal Neuralgia, treatable, but wants her to take certain medication which is he says is the only drug therapy to treat this condition. Now this medication includes chlordiazepoxide (known as Librium here in India, I've abused it during my using) and also Tegretol (Carbamazepine). My wife took it as prescribed for a few days and it seemed to be working well too on her headache problem, but then she stopped taking it, saying she doesn't want to risk taking this particular medication as she is recovering addict too... Also, it makes her feel strange, weird and sluggish throughout the day... When we asked the doctor for alternate medication and got it, it's not as effective... Now, in the middle of all this, yesterday, my fears got the better of me. My wife had a twin sister who had an almost similar condition, repetitive one-sided headaches, but they found a tumor that was causing it, and she died of it. Now, even though we did extensive studies of the Scans, we did not find any similar life-threatening development in the case of my wife. Still, my fears that something might happen to her overwhelm me at times, like it did yesterday. And on top of that, when she complained of a severe headache the whole day yesterday, I wanted her to take what the doctor had prescribed, but she again declined. So I went on my nagging trip with her, blaming her for not taking care of her health and not listening to either what I or the Doctor says, and so on... I made her day more miserable as a result, not able to give her any care of reassuring presence which she actually sought from me. What a mental/emotional drama I went through...

Finally, I was sick and tired. I went out where the members were hanging out. I sat with them, had a coffee, said my prayers and took out my basics (the first three steps) to make use of. I also called another member and shared what I'm going through. I also read from It Works - How and Why. As a result, I surrendered. Today, I'm much more calm and accepting, feel more faith and trust in my Higher Power's loving care instead of obsessizing with my worries and fears. Truly this program sets you free, but at times, the only thing that holds me back, imprisoning me, is - ME