At my home group tonight I thought about this passage from our Basic Text: "Recovery is what happens in our meetings. Our lives are at stake." (from the chapter Why Are We Here)
There was a newcomer there who I had opportunity so speak with before the meeting started and again, after the meeting ended. She was accompanied by a friend or loved one for support. She must have come almost directly from using because she said she was still high and tweeking real bad. Her eyes were blood red and dry, she was shaking uncontrollably, and she cried throughout the meeting. Scared, desperate, and literally dying...somehow she found her way to us. It was such a powerful experience... I KNOW why the newcomer is the most important person in the meeting. I don't think I have ever been so acutely reminded of the desperation, despair, and hopelessness that brought me to Narcotics Anonymous.
I came to work tonight and read the Feb. 5th JFT meditation (thanks, Jayson for posting) that talks about that simple, loving hug that can make the difference between an addict going back out our doors never to return and that addict who stays to recover. Man, my gratitude is running real high right now and I'm especially grateful for the response from my home group. They rallied around that newcomer and showered her with the love of the fellowship. I believe many of them were thinking along the same lines I was, remembering what EXACTLY drove them into the rooms.
I don't know if she will "make it," I don't even know if she'll make it back to another meeting, but I know how much she helped me tonight. With some time clean I sometimes too easily get caught up in the day to day business of life on life's terms and lose sight of the fact that MY life is still at stake, but also that recovery still happens in our meetings.
Thank you, newcomer, for reminding me what a GIFT my recovery is...I hope you get to share in it, too.
-- Edited by dan h at 03:56, 2009-02-05
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"With a sweet tongue of kindness, you can drag an elephant by a hair." ~Persian Proverb
Dan the last men's meeting I went to which is our last, just not enough guys coming, there was a guy there who had been clean 1-1/2 years and relapsed. He went out and wooped it up got busted DUI and drug possession. He had a 6 year term hanging over his head when this happened he was almost off probation and if this thing turned out to be a felony which I think it was he would be facing 3 strikes, 25-life . Not sure what happened I know he was real worried and I gave him my number I was willing to go to court with him but he never called.
Made me grateful , I am on my last strike also , in many way more then one.
Thanks guys for sharing, very true, often no matter how hard I try to work the program in my daily life, use prayer, call members and talk with them, make service meetings, read literature, or even do online message boards, if I'm not making meetings regularly, I've found that the program slowly ceases to work for me...
I believe Meetings and the fellowship are the life-force that give energy to my personal program. When I've been making regular meetings, I find I do not have to try too hard to work the program in my daily life and situations, it's more natural and spontaneous to live in the solution...
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Off to a meeting now it's my homegroup one this evening... yay...
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Thanks, Guys. Yes I always need to remember to be grateful. It's that OTHER "no matter what" that's almost as important as "Don't Use." The Book says when we forget the work and the effort that it took us to get a period of freedom in our lives, a lack of GRATITUDE sinks in and SELF-DESTRUCTION begins again. I don't need to be reminded of where I came from, THAT I'll never forget. But sometimes I do like to be reminded (like this) just how BAD it really was. My disease will try to tell me that it really wasn't THAT bad!! Then I get to see someone coming right from the dope and I not only remember... I FEEL those same "end of the road" feelings. Despair, Loneliness, Desperation, Hopelessness, and Self-pity. I never want to forget how I felt after my last run, and newcomers like this make sure I don't. Just one more thing I get from meetings that I can't seem to get anyplace else. Thanks for the responses, everyone!
-- Edited by dan h at 03:09, 2009-02-08
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"With a sweet tongue of kindness, you can drag an elephant by a hair." ~Persian Proverb
Thanks for the post. I read your retort on Tuesday, then went to a meeting. One addict was celebrating 2 years, another 1 year. And there were several newcomers in attendance.
I was very humbled how my friend with 2 yrs had turned his life around. And was very happy to see the addict with one yr, because I hadn't seen him in a long time. I had worried for him, especially remembering his story of how he had left his works in the bottom of a cereal box..and he knew where it was. I had actually thought he had gone out again.
When I finally had a chance to share, of course I congratulated the two on their recoveries. Then I went out of my way to tell the newcomers how important their attendance was for my recovery. I can remember the depths of my despair, looking into their pained, scared faces.
Na is a we program, and I need all the help I can get, and to offer all the assistance possible. Dan you have a wonderful mastery of description, THANK YOU!!!
it's my homegroup one this evening... yay...
