I am so overwhelmed with life it is getting harder to keep on keeping on I hate feeling like I am a burden to my family and I found out they are looking into surgery on my rotater cuff on my right arm which the recovery time is over a year I feel like I cannot win for losing that no matter what I do it is wrong. I am in constant pain I can only imagine what it would be like without this new patch. I am back to asking family for help and I hate it or someone has to judge me because I do I tried to tell my brother I wanted to start a new relationship with him and I got shot down in that sense he is alot like my Dad I hate the way my family turned out but I guess we are powerless there seeing as if we did not ask for them nor could we pick them I don't think I can hang on much more I just want things to go back to being simple or to get that way I don't think I can remember what simple is. I can't do this much longer. I need to come up for air. neway enough 4 one day
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Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough. Og Mandino
I have a question for you how many meetings f2f are you getting to?? Get that support network in place girl. I had the best night of my life last night when I hung with a bunch of addicts in recovery at a restaurant and I did some service work last night also. I had a ball with it. I was group discussion leader last night and loved being a part of instead of being against it. I have become more openmindedness, willing, and a little more honest than I used to be in my life.
Manon, we are the same people in here that are in the meetings. To be honest it sounds like you are just feeling sorry for yourself. "Self pity is one of the most destructive of character defects. It drains us of all positive energy." Maybe you should try to focus on the solution, not the problem? I truly believe the solution is in the steps. As an addict, I have two problems. I have a MAJOR problem and an ULTIMATE problem. I have a MAJOR problem with drugs, but my ULTIMATE problem is MYSELF! No matter what the situation or circumstances I'm facing in life, the REAL problem is ME! I'm the common denominator in ALL my problems- not other people who have refused to live up to my expectations, who have hurt me so badly, I'M the problem!! Any other problem I face, I just don't know how to deal with. I usually end up REACTING to it instead of RESPONDING to it. So here I go through life always over-reacting or under-reacting because I don't know how to respond appropriately. In "What Can I Do?" the basic text says that the only things I can change is the way I react and the way I see myself. In another chapter it says that "When we take the actions indicated in the steps, the result is a change in our personality. We respond appropriately to life. We see ourselves differently." I know I make this all sound so easy and it's not, but it IS simple. It's a simple program for complicated people---Like YOU! Good Luck Manon, and know that you are loved by the same people in here that are in those meetings you don't want to attend. Peace
-- Edited by dan h at 03:41, 2009-01-25
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"With a sweet tongue of kindness, you can drag an elephant by a hair." ~Persian Proverb
"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
hi Tahir long time no see Glad to hear from you. you could say I am hanging by a very thin thread but I am still here and clean at this point to be honest it is not by choice alcohol makes me sick cause of my meds and nething else keeps me away from my son. I am really having a rough time I am in a lawsuit from a car accident then I fell down the stairs in the ice I can't seem to win for losing 2steps forward then 3 back some would say I am whining I am just trying to deal with the cards that are being dealt. Sometimes I wonder if Karma may have caught up with me. Writing this brings tears to my eyes my duality is really getting the best of me I do have hope there tho I have a new doctor that is awesome and I am learning how to make healthy real relationships outside of my computer so things are okay I guess hell they could always be worse Thanx for asking Tahir miss you my brother
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Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough. Og Mandino
My shoulder has gotten so bad I am on verge of going under the knife, and your story terrifies me! Someone told me that their operation resulted in the worst kind of pain. Knowing that I am going to be given a script for painkillers is bothering me. While I don't think i'll abuse them, I am an addict, and who knows how I will react?!?
I've been putting off making the decision..yet I noticed my atrophy was getting really bad, and my movements have been getting progressively more difficult and painful. I figure that before I get any older, before my diabetes gets worse, before I have to change employers (and lose H benefits)....maybe i should just bite the bullet and do it.
Anyway thanks for letting me hijack your post, I just had to out that out there. I pray things improve for you.
Dave i have been putting off 3 operations, 1 to shoulder 1 to knee and 1 to redo a hernia I had surgery on 5 years ago LOL maybe I can get a package deal
use the scripts as prescribed and there wont be no trouble LOL
